Lord, to whom can we go? You have the words of eternal life

Lord, to whom can we go?

"I am wheelchair bound and my daughter left for two weeks. Every ride to get things I need costs $5.00. All I want is soap, shampoo and baby powder. I just want to be clean." "I lost my job and my new one doesn't start for two weeks. I know I smell bad. I am embarrassed. All I need is laundry detergent. Even if I am dirty, my son needs clean clothes. " MAKE ME CLEAN.

"My 14 year old is out of control and keeps attacking me. The police say there is nothing they can do. They told him to leave, but he can come back and he is my son. Can't someone help?" "I am so depressed." LORD, TO WHOM CAN WE GO?

"I need to go the hospital and no one can take me." HEAL ME.

"All I have to eat is a bag of Goldfish." FEED ME.

"I came here because I don't know where else to go." LORD TO WHOM CAN WE GO?

Here at the Pulpit in the Sky in the city, there are so many neighbors in our midst who hunger for the most basic needs. There are many ways in which we try to feed, clothe and minister. In many of my encounters, before we are done, I offer to pray with the person. I have never been turned down. I offer to hold their hands as we pray- I am never turned down. Often as we are praying, I am aware that the person whose hands I am holding begins to cry deep tears for what is, for what is not, and the hands relax. For even just the length of that prayer the burdens are a little lighter. And in some small way, I hope that the person who thought maybe the God-place could help, got a glimpse of God with them.

Later, as I watch them walk back out into the fray, I wonder about the deeper yearning below the surface. For the poor, everyday things are enormous. But beyond the food, the soap, the guidance, the transportation is a much deeper need that is expressed in "Lord, to whom can we go?" The enormous things are easier when one feels they do not walk alone, when one can sense God's presence in their journey. And it is good that we are here.

But how do we more intentionally approach the deeper need that only the prayer, and the listening and the presence of the Lord we seek can offer? Especially here in the city where many are wayfarers- because here is the courthouse, the social service network, the convention center. We are the landing place for many, whether it is for a day or for "however long." For all on these journeys, both physical and spiritual, where does the welcome start, and what should it look like? How do we regularly provide a sanctuary for all who cry out "Lord, to whom can we go?" who desperately hope that there is an answer? Where the answer is about eternal life?

 

 

 

I Wanna Be a Part of a Wedding Like this!

In a couple months, the vicar will assist with a wedding. A fellow seminarian let me in on this great video! Not only is it exuberant, they are solicting contributions toward a domestic violence cause. I would love to officiate a ceremony where the joy is obvious. Not sure what the wedding this fall will bring, but till then Blessings to this adorable couple and their talented friends.

Living Parables

Here at the Pulpit in the Sky, it is VBS week and the new Vicar has been working the registration table. The first night, a swarm of parents and kids from our parish and the Episcopalian church down the street swept into the parish building- the energy is infectious. We had also canvassed the neighborhood to invite kids and their parents to join us for our meal and the program which includes a program for adults while the kids are off doing their thing. We are studying four different parables- the Good Shepherd, the Good Samaritan, the Sower and the Wise Builder. The first night I was thrilled to see a couple women from the neighborhood come with their children. And our Liberian refugee family with their children. Then came a woman who attends our free breakfast for the needy on Sunday- she wanted to drop off her granddaughter. I invited her to stay and join us for the meal- she went out and told her daughter to park the car- and they stayed and ate, and went to the adult Bible study. A couple of Ethiopian girls from around the corner came too because they heard other kids saying there was this meal and fun at the Lutheran church.
Last night they were all back and the Ethiopians brought two other friends because it's more fun with more friends! And some of our neighboring Latino families came. All at tables with some of our families who have adopted children from faraway places and those who have lived here their whole lives.Without all of the boundaries we sometimes place on our connections.
We had more unexpected visitors from more unexpected places than we thought which temporarily stressed the ladies of the kitchen. Here in the land of "one can never have enough food for guests", we did not have leftovers- we did however, have enough of what we needed. And one can never have enough of what we experienced. The singing, the laughing, the learning and the sharing, and sometimes when someone is a little down, a welcomed hug. Living the parables we hear.
I give thanks for the children who shepherded their friends here, for the chance to plant seeds for the future, to be the meal and the love that beats whatever the world is dishing out and show that you can believe there is another way because you see it lived. Thanks be to God!

Gnawing Hunger

John 6: 51-58

There is a distinct difference between eating fast food in haste versus savoring a meal that is not inhaled, but is a gnawing to get to the deepest part. It is a little bothersome to imagine loud gnawing and lip-smacking at the altar rail during communion, much less the image of gnawing on real flesh and blood. After all we have developed ways to make this part of the worship experience much more regal and refined. We have processes for the elements to be distributed uniformly, with as little human contact in the serving as possible. We process forward as directed, and take just enough time to receive the elements and move on. Taking time to say "Amen" is pushing the limit- we are mindful of the length of the service. We have elaborate and lovingly tended communion ware, and linens. Robert Capon [Hunting the Divine Fox] writes a bit about our modern spiritualizing of the sacrament:

Jesus instituted the sacrament of his body and blood by commanding his disciples to eat bread and drink wine in remembrance of him. Human nature being what it is, however, it wasn't long before someone got the idea that the bread for the sacrament ought to be something special. It wasn't enough apparently, that by Jesus' own words, any old bread would be nothing less than his true, risen and glorious body really present in a high mystery. They had to have super-bread. And so in accordance with Murphy's Law (if a mistake can be made, it will be), the angelic fish-food communion wafers were invented, snow white, unleavened, crumbless, odorless and tasteless. And made by nuns. Out of rice flour. Without salt. In little waffle irons with holy monograms on them. [p. 125]

Somehow all of these centuries later, we would prefer a more sanitized and efficient experience. But the experience of the gospel repeatedly shows that God is instead using the humble and ordinary in extraordinary ways. Incarnation by a fleshy birth in a filthy stinky manger or cave- as unclean and impure as we can imagine. Ordinary common bread from a street vendor whose hands are calloused and whose fingernails are ragged and dirty. Wine made down the street, not from the finest Napa Valley vineyard. All of this talk about flesh and blood, the very things that shock consciences and certainly appalled the Jewish leaders- so much so they didn't just quarrel lightly, they were fraught with deep simmering conflicts that erupted from the core of their being at Jesus' words and life. Because what Jesus suggests is not how it is supposed to be- it violates all laws and standards. We too have created laws and standards of how we expect things to be. Even now we find it hard to imagine God using these means- these shocking, at times repulsive means of the incarnation, death and resurrection to bring what we need most deeply. We don't want to ponder gnawing, messy or gritty. No matter how gritty life can be, it is not God who shocked and offended by the earthiness of it all, but it is us. Maybe we don't want to go that deep.

But Christ is abiding in us in the depth of our humanity. Not just stopping by, but taking root deep within us. These images convey depth of relationship. Our relationship with Christ is not superficial and external, not temporary or" for this day", but at the heart and core of our existence, and is the heart and the gift of the Eucharist. Brian Peterson writes that today's gospel passage is about the fact that the Eucharist is life giving and that it is because of Jesus' incarnation that it is life giving. But more importantly it is about the fact that the Eucharist is life giving because it draws us into deeper relationship with Christ. "I abide in you and you in me" suggests a union of relationship- more than the fact that when we celebrate the Eucharist the elements enter us. Food does help to sustain life, but it is about how we are altered by the life-giving of Jesus in ways that transcend the caloric value of eating and drinking. We are re-ordered by Christ.

Can we allow in our minds that we hunger? There are many things in life for which we can be said to hunger. Things that compete for our hearts and minds and draw us in many directions. We may think they give us a new experience or new thrill. Out of this thinking comes the "List of 100 places you must see before you die" and other ways of identifying what we just HAVE to do. But just like that manna, they are for this day only. Though we can hunger for them to be more, by nature they cannot be. They cannot give the life we need most no matter how many times we try.

To satisfy our deepest hunger, it takes Christ. What if we truly hungered to get to the deepest level of this relationship? What if as much as we consume, we are consumed by this motivation? It would alter our very existence. And in the depth of that relationship, we would be drawn to those people and places we might prefer to not contemplate. Then not only would we be fed, but it would open our eyes to all of those who this day hunger and thirst. And if Christ is in us we could not stop ourselves from reaching out with that bread of life for all. It would gnaw at us and we would hunger for all to be fed. We would feel it in our very flesh, in the core of our being.

 

 

Life in Ministry

I am beyond excited that I have moved into my office, officially called a "study." It is, shall we say, cozy. As wide as my bookshelf and endtable. As deep as my second chair and desk. But, with all of my books and pictures, crosses and candles, and my fun toys- squirt gun, light up antlers, Action figure Peter, and Clap for the Lord clappers, it is just right. My message board on my door playfully invites people to complete the sentence- The Vicar is ______________. I have gotten the handful of keys, the secrets to the phone system, and my vestments joined the others in the sacristy. I am told the sextons bring us cookies on Sunday! I had gracious help in moving in and found a cheerful Welcome sign above my desk, a ready laptop and printer and a tote bag in case I want one for carrying things around or going to the Farmers Market which I can walk to. I have been blessed with a wonderfully exuberant and supportive Internship Committee. I will be installed, will offer the benediction and then the adventure will begin to unfold.
It is an amazing time.
While I ask for your prayers as I embark, I also ask for prayers for a pastor in our synod who is experiencing a much different life in ministry. A year ago, he was called by a member who told him that the member's wife had been found dead in the pool. Murdered. Within mere hours of processing this loss, and attempting to walk with the husband, investigation led to the husband's arrest and charging. How to minister to a family in loss and also to one accused and whose fate hangs in the balance. A year later the trial has begun and the pastor was called as a witness and asked whether he knew the husband was having an affair at the time of his wife's death, and what his perception was of the husband's grieving or not grieving the loss of his wife. (The husband admits the affair and his child with the other woman was born this spring). I have been a lawyer, and a witness in my life. I have counseled others. I can only imagine what this pastor must be experiencing. Multi-faceted grief and stress. SO I ask for prayers for his care in the midst of his caring and ministering. The adventures of minstry can unfold in many ways- none of us ever wants to think it will look like this.

Ref-Lectionary Musings: Not What We Expect

“If you do not believe the words of Moses, how will you believe my words?” After this stinging indictment Jesus has left the Jewish leaders. He goes away across the water to Galilee, and up the mountain with the disciples. Perhaps he has gone there to have time away, time with the Father, time for teaching the disciples. What we know is that he is soon thereafter aware that a large crowd is coming to him. They are not coming to him for what he has said. We are told they are clamoring to be with Jesus for the miraculous signs he has performed for the sick. For the restoration of lives that this healing has brought. In the lives of the Hebrew people, there was not a bright line between life and death, but a continuum in which one who was chronically sick was seen as not really among the living. For many this sickness placed them outside of the temple community- one would give anything to be restored, to be made whole, to be reinstated into life in community. And one would give anything to be free from whatever pain and suffering life involved. Jesus perhaps was the latest of those who the people followed desperately seeking relief, and many before had proven to be charlatans. There were in excess of five thousand people, a number as large as or larger than a lot of the towns in which we ourselves live today- Over five thousand people swarming to get to their hope for healing.
If I was one of the disciples I would have been wondering how on earth would this throng of people be able to be organized into a manageable system. We would need to triage the situation and determine who had the greatest needs. We would need crowd control. We would need a “take a number” system. We would need more than 12 of us disciples to keep this all from becoming a chaotic mess. So many people to be healed. How long would it take? Out of chaos will come order, and God will provide, but not in the way the people ask.
In the face of this massive influx of needy people, Jesus is not focused on their physical ailments. Instead, he asks how they will all eat. What? Imagine that you have been crippled since birth, or have sores that won’t heal, would the first thing on your mind be- I am hungry? Jesus asks where will they get the bread- he already knows the miracle that he will perform.
The miracle of the feeding is even more stupendous in the multiplication. Nothing was wasted. And seemingly out of nothing God creates something. Everyone has not just a crumb and pretends they are not hungry. Everyone is satisfied. We don’t know how much they ate- maybe it was just a crumb-but the bread from God is sufficient in a way that the bread from the labor of our own hands can never be.
Phillip has been hearing Jesus’ words, and seeing Jesus’ signs and yet, he has not yet taken that quantum leap to fathom that for Jesus, son of God, nothing is impossible. In the days of yore, the manna, bread from heaven, would have seemed impossible. Yet it would be enough. Now the source of the bread was in our midst, creating in ways that seemed impossible, and yet it was enough.
And by not only joining in community but inviting these unclean masses to eat together with Jesus and the disciples, this breaking of bread and sharing of a meal functioned as purification, and restoration into community, the thing their sicknesses had prevented. They were made whole in community, welcomed by God and fed.
There was no picking and choosing of the worthy, no words of limitation, but sufficient abundance for all- no questions asked. No litmus tests, no separation. Everyone sat down- together. Everyone was fed. Everyone was restored. Everyone was satisfied. We don’t know if they were physically healed. But I think they were rescued from a world that was overwhelming and given peace.
They were overwhelmed with it all. They responded the only way they knew how- to try to acknowledge Jesus with earthly power, to make him the king. They wanted to overthrow the system that had failed to help them- they wanted a king like this. It is really pretty treasonous to think such thoughts, much less say them. But just as Jesus provided not what they wanted but what they needed in the breaking of the bread, so he left them now. It is for another day that he will give the people what they really need in a kingship that looks nothing like what they imagine.
So many times we can make things far more complicated than they need to be, with rules and trappings and procedures. Yet it doesn’t get much simpler than this. People gathered right there on the grass. Nothing fancy. There were no cadres of ushers who marched down aisles at just the right time. No one telling antsy kids to be quiet. No one seemingly concerned with sitting in their “usual spot.” Just people who were glad to have Jesus in their midst, to share and be fed and be satisfied. And to dwell just a moment in the awesomeness of this wholeness, this community and in the extravagance of God in our midst.
After the miracle, Jesus again withdraws to the mountain and the disciples and crowds go on their way. Soon enough the worries of the world return, the storms on the water return. The disciples are not sure what THEY can do. Jesus comes again to them, showing that our hope is not in what we can do, but what God does. They want Jesus in the boat with them, but instead the boat is suddenly at the shore. Not what they asked for, but what they needed. This time multiplying speed to safety instead of bread. Out of chaos, order and rescue from a world that is overwhelming.
The disciples thought they were alone, just as each in the crowds probably felt alone in his or her sickness. Jesus provided presence and restoration, for the crowds when they sought him; for the disciples, he came to them even before they asked.
Whether we are in worship because we always come, whether we are here today because we seek an end to chaos, each of us is seeking something more than our daily labors alone can bring. Each of us is hoping to encounter Jesus. Presence, restoration, wholeness, healing and peace are here, for each of us, in ordinary things, in the bread and wine. No matter who we are or where we have been, God’s extravagant abundance is here for all. We can believe these words. Come.

Ref-lectionary musings- Shepherding

In Jeremiah 23:1, 2, 4, we hear about the deficiencies of earthly shepherds. “Woe to the shepherds who destroy and scatter the sheep of my pasture!” says the LORD. “It is you who have scattered my flock, and have driven them away, and you have not attended to them. I will raise up shepherds over them who will shepherd them, and they shall not fear any longer, or be dismayed, nor shall any be missing,” says the LORD. “Shepherd” is a word with more than one meaning.
Shepherds are responsible for protecting and providing sustenance for their flocks, keeping peace within the flock, defending against attackers, searching for sheep that have gone astray, and rescuing those who are in danger. The shepherd, and by analogy the king, is expected to act for the well-being of the sheep. Though we can think about actual shepherds who tend livestock, more importantly, what does this mean for those of us who serve in shepherding roles in the Church? What is the sustenance we should be offering? What would the good shepherd look like in our humanity? Attentive to justice, protection, mercy, and righteousness, for sure, but I think there is more. I think it is about more than just physical sustenance and care, but about providing direction.
In Psalm 23: 2, 3, 4, we hear of the Lord as shepherd:
He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside still waters;
He restores my soul. He leads me in right paths for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no evil; for you are with me.

As I focused upon the teaching aspects of shepherding, I was drawn not only to the “leading” and “directing” but to seeing that it is because of this leading and teaching that the psalmist can sense that the Lord, not a physical person, is present. This presence sensed in one’s internal being, that whole sense of life, not just the physical, that is contemplated by the Hebrew word, nefesh. By being able to rely upon this teaching felt as presence within, the psalmist can overcome fears and can sense that caring and providing. The rod and staff that at times prods us forward, and at times draws us back to where we can have life.
So when I then contemplate Mark 6:54-56, and Jesus as shepherd, the imagery again is about more than physical care. “As he went ashore, he saw a great crowd; and he had compassion for them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd; and he began to teach them many things.” Jesus has compassion- one of my favorite words in Greek, splagchnizomai. It can mean sympathy, mercy, and loving concern, but my favorite part about it is that it is deep inner core emotion, the same visceral gut emotion of the father for the lost son in the story of the Prodigal. In the depth of this sense of caring, it seems to be more than tending to people who are sick and need a physical cure because the compassion is connected to the first then we are told Jesus does, to care for the inner being, and a sense of being “with” that person. "They were like sheep without a shepherd." There are lots of modern metaphors for being lost, but I tend to think of the concept of being at wit’s end.” Feeling totally dependent and totally abandoned- that no one is with us. That feeling that no amount of Band-aids, hugs or things done “to” people can erase. That deep “in our gut” feeling. Maybe Jesus is matching our feelings, gut to gut. What does Jesus do? "…he began to teach them many things" (Mark 6:34). Deep down we need more than a quick fix, we need a roadmap. In The Wounded Storyteller, one person whose world has been turned upside down by chronic illness talks about a sense that the roadmap he had been using in life suddenly becoming worthless, and that sense of existential despair; of having no way to navigate the journey. POW’s who have survived imprisonment are often found to have survived emotionally by recalling Scripture, liturgy, and hymns as a way of sustenance. Persons with dementia continue to find comfort in the same. I remember one older gentleman whose sense of reality was robbed by dementia. In many ways much of his day was spent in some world only his mind saw, and he was often agitated. But when he was brought communion, he would suddenly spring into the words of the liturgy as he had his whole life. And for the length of that time, and whenever we would recite his favorite Scripture, he was not that lost sheep. So it would seem to make sense that the Gospel would be critical to giving that sense of direction in which one finds the presence of God, and the caring of God that allows one to rise above fear- the Lord as shepherd in what has been taught and internalized. When I think about the compassion Jesus felt which led him to teach, it made me ponder- that teaching is what we keep in our hearts and minds. Which is worse, facing some physical concern, or facing that sense of being lost with no one to turn to and no roadmap for the journey? My experiences in chaplaincy tell me it is the latter- our hearts and minds can be awfully empty places without the word/Word to cling to. I have to agree with Mark Vitalis Hoffman who encourages understanding “education as an expression of compassionate evangelism. Yes, there are all sorts of ways we can express compassion by attending to the pressing physical needs people have, but it is just as important for us to be educating them by clearly and faithfully speaking the Gospel.” I can’t say it any better than that.