Help Us Remember Who We Are

What if I announced we’re going stand outside and I’ll read to you all of the first five books of Scripture- Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy and THEN after about six hours, we’ll come in here and celebrate? Just like they did in Nehemiah! I don’t know why we don’t do that! But more importantly why DO we do what we do here? Minus the six hour part, what these people did is part of what shapes what we do when we gather to worship. What we do is called the liturgy, which literally means “the work of the people” in worship. If you look closely you’ll see parts of our worship there in Nehemiah. Standing for part of Scripture, getting low for confession. Our pattern of gathering, confessing, being forgiven, blessing, feasting and sending forth, has roots in what they did. And frankly our need for doing so does too. It has everything to do with the ongoing relationship between humans and God across time. But today we hear about the Israelites. They’ve come home. Back from living in exile for half a century. A time that started when they’d been not only conquered and overrun, but stripped of their land, their language, their religion and their identity. Now they come home struggling to remember who they were. Some were born never even knowing that the old stories they heard were true. “Home” was unrecognizable, and things they were counting upon lie in ruins. Their leaders began rebuilding but even when they gather for worship, enemies, exhaustion and divisions mean they’re still not sure it’s right. What if there isn’t anything to pass on? They beg to hear the words of their God- that seems so distant. We need you to help us remember who we are. We feel a little unglued. And the things we are supposed to do don’t make sense.

So Ezra reads their story to them, the story of God and the people. God creating everything to fit together, and created humans out of a desire for relationship. God freeing them from slavery for a relationship. God giving the joy of  land and security and abundance saying, “I am the Lord your God and you are my people. All of this is for you.”  Old Testament scholar Walter Brueggeman says it was the memory of God’s gifts and that relationship that was the glue that bound the people together, keeping them close to God, reliant upon God and responsive to God. But years passed and they grew careless and cynical, their prosperity caused amnesia about who they really were, what they’re expected to do and to whom they’re accountable. It ends with them carted off to Babylon. Now for them to even hear their story, it takes more than a book because many of the people didn’t get the language. The Israelites spoke Hebrew but as exiles had to learn their conquerors’ language. For some it’s the only language they ever knew. It took not only Ezra and a book but those who knew the story and could speak the languages to translate so everyone could understand what was being said and what it meant. And they did because It was that important.

Important enough that everyone- men, women, young and old, are drawn together to learn who they are and how they got to this point. Their “Amens” at the end are a collective cry of recognition of just how far they’ve strayed and just how devoted God had been. The scope of God’s devotion and laboring overpowers them, and when set alongside the scope of their sins, they weep. And they’re scared-a God that powerful might decide enough’s enough. Frankly they wouldn’t be able to blame that response. How can anyone bridge the enormous gap between who we are and who we were made to be? This is not just their confession, it’s ours.

But as surely as the law reveals our sins, it also reveals our hope. The story of a God who keeps promises, promising Abraham he’d be the father of a nation, and assuring Jacob “I am with you and will protect you wherever you go.” A God who heard the cries of the oppressed in Egypt and delivered them. A God who forgives sins and helps those whose strength is gone. This same God says DO NOT WEEP. In spite of all that’s passed, do not weep. Because THIS day you have let God’s law fill your ears and it is a holy day. There is forgiveness as this day you have drawn near to God. Your being here is the joy of the Lord! God’s joy and ours- this is what it means to be a holy day!

And being here is our strength. Because every week we leave and it’s not long before we’re in danger of falling victim to amnesia as well. We too can lose sight of God’s gifts and the glue that holds us together, how we rely upon God. And if we take seriously our lives and confession, we come back like the Israelites, confused and unglued. But we get to come back! To confess and be forgiven and freed to worship God. That’s why confession is at the beginning.

Then we hear the word, and God invites us to feast. Again this day-Body,blood,grace. Bread and wine- for you.

It’s all designed to help us remember who we are, who God is and our call to help each other grasp how this shapes who we are to be. Because it’s that important.

And It all happens here together. It needs to be together. God’s word has authority, but it cannot live only in the pages of a book. It takes the “all” of community. Our faith is strengthened by hearing God’s word and by interpreting it together. None of us is able to be the sole source of strengthening our own faith. The glory and power are not in this book or a speaker or ourselves, but in what God brings forth in the midst of us as God’s people. We need to be glued together. That’s why we’re here.

So hear God’s Word anew. No matter where you’ve been, do not weep. Let God fill your ears and hear that this is for you, this holy day. Whether you are like me and often feel unworthy of this grace, remember our response to God is to thankfully radiate the glow of our joy farther and farther out. To share with those who haven’t heard, who have no joy, who know no feast, who feel no strength. May we be lifted up in forgiveness, filled with joy and strengthened by God’s Word that exceeds our expectations, and our reasoning, and then after the feast we sing- Thank the Lord and sing His praise! Tell everyone what He has done. Let everyone who seeks the Lord rejoice and proudly bear his name. For He recalls His promises and leads his people forth in joy with shouts of thanksgiving! Hallelu-jah- Praise God!

So go forth! Help others remember who they are. As we draw together in ever larger ways, being rededicated in God’s presence. Confessing, forgiving, worshipping, feasting and sending. Again and again. Until all who can understand, do. And tears turn into joy and we remember we are a people, not scattered exiles.

May God’s word fill our ears and hearts anew, inspire our speech, make us shine forth God’s love and glory for all to see. Our reminder and our mission starts again with this day. This holy day.

 

Holy Fibs and Holy Truth

Yesterday I again found myself in the sacred space of sitting with a dying woman. Death and I have sat together alot in the last eight weeks. Each time I am with a saint laboring toward peace there are themes that emerge. Some are looking for resolution, others are longing for reunion. There are often things they say that reveal the core of their being.
Over the last weeks of visiting this particular saint she has been most concerned that she has not been able to be in church to bring her offering envelopes.
She is a person of few means who literally puts a couple quarters in each envelope. She does not drive and had been dependent upon a ride to get to church
but whenever she came, there were enough envelopes for the number of weeks since the last time.
She would toddle in to "her" pew and would be there early. I always knew she was in church because the fluffy white wig that was outsized in proportion to the rest of her was usually the first thing that would catch my eye.
Over my time here as the pastor, I came to know that she had been married and then after her husband died, had found love again, but for an elderly woman on Social Security with no pension and an elderly veteran, marriage was unaffordable. It was hard enough.
I had visited and provided food, and fuel assistance. And communion and anointing.
I was told by many that the old vet was gruff and hard to like.
Little by little I learned that while the old veteran was still a curmudgeonly guy who was never going to come to church, but in his way he did what he could for her and for her faith life.
Even calling a few months ago to tell me she was pretty sick, and on a hot day I made the trek out.
She was in bed with a fan blowing, not dressed like church, but in pajamas and sans wig. But her three wigs were all resting on the dresser on their hairdresser heads. She was very worried about those envelopes of quarters and out of the corner of my eye I saw the old vet shaking his head "no." He did not share and I left wondering. But before I did, we had shared communion. He joined us and owned that it was the first time he had been offered communion in years. It changed things

In these last weeks, after trips back and forth between the hospital and the extended care facility, and the decision to simply provide palliative care, it has become clear. What she had been too proud to share was that she has an inoperable tumor. What is now taking her life is the onset of pneumonia and I watch each day as she becomes more and more a shell of her former physical self. Her jawline and collarbone more pronounced. Now the old vet and I have talked out in the hall about what is to come. Where it is clear that the reason he shakes his head "no" about those quarters is that with the cost of her care, there are no quarters.
And yet this has been her fixation.

As though as she ponders it all she worries that in the absence of being caught up with her offering the holy gates will be locked and she will be lost.
And so we collaborated in a holy fib.

It reminded me of years ago on the medical drama "House" where a woman had been driving her family in a car and made an error in driving that resulted in a terrible accident that took the lives of her husband and family. As she lay dying in a hospital bed a couple years later, still punishing herself for the accident, she was calling for her husband. The normally curmudgeonly doctor who had unearthed both her story and her husband's wedding band, put the ring on and held her hand. She stroked the hand with the wedding band, and a tear rolled down her face.  She believed her husband was there and she could have peace. Though no one would consider a "House" character and holy in the same sentence, it was a holy fib.

So here the old vet and I found ourselves. Confronted with this fixation that left no peace. And in the face of the repeating theme of the offering envelopes we knowingly colluded. As she worried about the envelopes I assured her that he and I had taken care of things and everything was caught up. She looked at him and he nodded his head and assured her that was right. It took two times but she eventually accepted the holy fib and could lay to rest the issue of the envelopes. That was a couple days ago.

Yesterday when I came to sit with her the mere opening of eyes was a struggle as was speaking. I just sat and held her hand and offered a prayer. At the end of the prayer, she became very alert and very concerned.
Will God REALLY take care of me?
I need to confess because I have done things wrong
Will I be in trouble?
She was not able to speak about what the wrong things might be about
But it was kind of like the back story of what the envelopes represented-
what if I am not "caught up" with God?

I spoke God's forgiveness and reminded her of God's promises
for her
God's love
for her
and made the sign of the cross on her forehead to remind her
this is how much God loves you
God is here with you
and will be there to greet you where you are going
Replacing the holy fib with words of holy truth

She looked up at the ceiling and said
God if you love me just take me
take away this pain

My prayer for her is that this indeed what happens for her soon
Rest in God's everlasting arms

I held her hand til she fell asleep and hope perhaps there will soon be a good and peaceful transition to the world where there is no catching up to do.