Tonite a group of TLC'ers gathered for a meal and a time of Advent Fellowship. At the end we lit candles and went forth into the neighborhood singing carols. Some places were seemingly oblivious. Others ignored us. But at one house a person came out onto the porch and listened with a smile, thanking us for "Making my night." And while we were singing a man walked by with his dog- he had followed the sound of the voices to share in giving praise to God. Voice singing in the night-carrying forth the message-may we sing until the whole world hears.

How Hard is it to Love Ourselves?

Love your neighbor as yourself. Much of the emphasis has been placed on the first three words, but what about the last two? Is it even possible to love others as we love ourselves, when our own self-assessment leaves us feeling fractured or inadequate? What kind of love would be shared?
At the EDGE, we watched a very short video clip from the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty. You can watch it here.
Then I asked everyone to think of something about themselves that they consider to be a flaw- something they do not like. Interestingly enough, still being those wonderful teachers, they went deeper than I expected- physical concerns were not on the list, even with the cue from the video. Instead, they listed- procrastination; overcontrolling; can't handle being "out of the loop"; conceited; lack self-confidence; stuttering; impatient. When asked if they ever felt like they exhibited one of the "flaws" they had not mentioned, every hand went up to say "Yes."
We talked about how we are each made unique, wonderfully and fearfully made. God loves us flaws and all- good days and bad. So we can see our shortcomings but not be dominated by them. Even when we feel pressure from parents or others, when we feel inadequate.
We eventually talked about how when we are working with others, perhaps we should consider that the center of the world is more than just where we are. If we know we have these flaws, and on any given day they are a part of us, is not the same thing true for others? Does this then allow us to see others with grace, as we are shown grace? Next week we will be talking about loving others- the end of our time this week will be the bridge to talking more deeply about how hard it is to love others as God loves them.

Soles 4 kids- share a little, help a lot

Can you imagine what it would be like to be a school child who not only faces the challenges of homework and making friends, but faces the added stress of no permanent home at the end of the day? In the School District of Lancaster, located in the city of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, approximately hundreds of homeless children struggle to attend school each year, with burgeoning needs significant enough to warrant a district-wide Homeless Office which acts as a clearinghouse for concerns such as clothing, health care and meals.
Holy Trinity Lutheran Church (TLC), located in the heart of the city, borders some of the area of greatest need. TLC became aware of children who could not attend classes regularly because they lacked shoes. Others were wearing ill-fitting shoes simply to be able to attend. As a part of its mission to be a Tender Loving Congregation, TLC Community Outreach Committee members devised a new venture, Soles 4 Kids, to gather enough sneakers for each child in need to have a pair. Inspired by members, Bob and Dorothy Cooper, on Sneaker Sunday, during worship services, children of the congregation went from pew to pew gathering the sneakers and funds and presenting them at the altar for blessing by Pastor Sadie Pounder. TLC collected 184 pairs of shoes and $2000.00 towards the purchase of additional sneakers or other items of need.
Both Bob Cooper and Ken Marzinko, Homeless Student Project facilitator noted “we expected a sizeable number of shoes, but the members’ generosity was overwhelming!” Enough has been provided to ensure shoes for all in need as well as funds for those who outgrow their uniforms or need other supplies. “It was amazing to see the joy in the faces of those who have, and of those who have received! What a wonderful witness!” The event is now envisioned as an annual component of the community outreach theme-“ Share a Little, Help a Lot,” which encompasses a variety of ways that TLC lives out the ELCA motto-“God’s work, our hands.”

How Hard is it to Love God?

Last week the Senior High EDGE series "Crosswalking Relationships" began and we talked about Jesus' response to the question of what is the greatest commandment- to love God with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength. We blow through so much stuff in confirmation, but once we are beyond those classes, it is good to come back, and slow down and talk about what it really looks like on the ground to live in the midst of God's word. So we unpacked what this relationship could look like- heart, soul, mind and strength.
When we thought of strength- someone mentioned the idea of morals and actions and the strength it takes to live in a way that is not always shared by others. One person shared the ending of a romantic relationship because of behavior he could not condone, and the courage it takes to stand in the face of things it might be easier to ignore.
When we thought of mind- we talked about how often we do or do not read or study God's words for us and whether we see the Bible as a rule book, or whether we realize that the same words can bring new meanings at different stages in our lives.
We did some diving into the soul-People were open to talking about how they connect with God in prayer- there were beautiful moments of people sharing how prayer anchors the day, gives them strength to know they do not go it alone. Prayer helps to overcome anxiety so someone can sleep. How trying to have a pattern has become a part of someone's daily life. Then we got to the heart.
We contemplated what happens to us when we think we are in love with someone-how much of us is invested in the other person. We feel differently. We think about the person- ALOT! We look for them. We want to do things for them. When I asked if this also meant that we buy things for the other person- this got a lot of laughter-
"Come on, Vic- we don't have a lot of money!" But this led to one guy sharing that he thinks the most important thing to give is the gift of time- the gift of yourself. Whereupon all of the other guys agreed that stuff just doesn't say the same thing as being there. The girls agreed.
But we all know we only have so much time. We can get so busy with tests and sports, and friends and Facebook and family stuff and it can be hard to say "No" to all of these things. As we consider what it means to love God, it is about the relationships we feed- real and virtual. Rob Bell has suggested that maybe the question is not what we say "No" to, but what we say "Yes" to-is God a part of Yes? Is God the first YES?
Lucky for us, when we can't live as committed to the relationship, God is still saying "Yes." Knowing that allows us to continue to come to God, knowing that our prayers are heard and the love is still alive. The next topic even before we get to Loving Others, is "How Hard is it to Love Ourselves?"
I give thanks for this wonderful group- and I pray that in the midst of all of this week's tests and projects and sports and stuff, that they remember they never walk alone.

Is That a Fake ID?

On Sundays we have a Breakfast Fellowship- this is a free breakfast open to anyone- there are many regulars who make the free meal circuit and usually a few new faces. I have enjoyed getting to know them and to hear about what is going on in their lives, and sometimes to connect them with something that will help their current concern, to give out hugs, share laughs and prayers. The lay leaders have been using the VBI "Gospel of Matthew" each week showing a different passage. This week was
Matthew 12: 15-45. With so much to cover, I chose to pretty much wrap it up at verse 30 for my message.
The message time has give and take to it- I stop and ask for questions, or people raise their hands to comment and others just talk anyway. Out of all of that, below is the gist of the message from yesterday with a couple modifications:

We live in a culture where we all have some form of identification that says who we are- drivers license, Social Security card, school ID, passwords. We cannot navigate our culture without them. It is not enough for us to say who we are, we have to prove it. If we prove who we are, our ID says things about us. We protect our identity at all costs so others don’t steal it. From time to time we hear stories about people who create fake ID’s- to go places and do things that they could not otherwise do. All ways we seek to address the question of “WHO ARE YOU?”
Today we hear that Jesus cured many and ordered them not to make it known. Why would this be? Wouldn’t it help to grow Jesus’ following if news of these miracles spread from town to town? Later we hear the Pharisees tell Jesus, “If you could just give US a sign.” Prove your identity. For people who seek him to be healed, they believe in the signs, but they are not sure who exactly they believe in. But they hope- the Gentiles hope. Hope in this person whose name proclaims and enacts “Save us.” Can this Jesus be the one?
For those who are learned, who have studied Scripture and are the self-proclaimed enactors of holiness, they should know who Jesus is, but they seek a sign. The prophet Isaiah’s words are being fulfilled –“he will not wrangle or cry out”- Jesus will not engage in the debate of “prove it!” “Nor will anyone else hear his voice”- no one is getting what he is preaching and teaching- he is placing his identity before them, yet the Pharisees are the ones who are blind, who cannot hear, who cannot speak rightly of Jesus. They are sure he must be working for Satan- he cannot be who he says he is. They accuse Jesus of having a fake ID. Jesus reminds them that it is by the Spirit of God that he cast out demons, and “the kingdom of God has come to you.” He gives examples from the Old Testament that he knows should ring some bells with the temple leaders, but seemingly to no avail- they still want to see a sign.
He tries logic- If people who are sick have sinned and are full of evil, why would a force of evil, get rid of evil- wouldn’t it work the other way around? And what about the fact that these “holy men” also have “faith healers?” They can’t have it both ways. What is it that they are doing? Are they also calling upon the devil? Or are their “so-called” cures not cures at all? But the logic doesn’t work either.
What about all of the people who are sick and in need who the Pharisees have cast aside and ignored- those who the Pharisees have refused to help? A saying in Scripture is that people are “blessed to be a blessing to others.” If faithful and holy people are blessed to be a blessing to those in need, why are the Pharisees blinded to the painfully obvious needs of others, and deaf to their cries? Why when they see those who are aching for any assistance, do they find themselves with nothing to say to these people? People in need of food, and shelter, and in need of basic care- cast to the outer regions of the town and left to fend for themselves. Unable to worship or to be even become clean and whole. Erased from the minds of those in charge. What about those Pharisees who claim to be one thing, but clearly are another? Nothing seems to sway the Pharisees, but we can be left with a question- Just who is operating under a fake ID?
One of you asked if there is a connection between the Pharisees and Pharaoh. Though they are in many ways not connected- in fact this is a very interesting point to consider. The Pharisees are the temple leaders in Jesus’ day- that is who we see in our story today. Pharaoh was the leader in Egypt who kept the people of Israel in slavery. The people of Israel were trapped in their situation until God through Moses acted to free them from their oppression. Likewise the Pharisees, in a lot of the actions and decisions they made that I spoke of just a minute ago, very much enslaved and oppressed others- the poor, the sick, the widowed. And Jesus’s mission is to end this oppression and to clean house. It is as if God’s world, God’s house, has been taken over by the many forces and ways that leave people poor and oppressed. A lot of us here today know what it feels like to be pushed off to the side, left to fight on our own, in some ways trapped and unable to change things- we need healthcare, and jobs, and people to care.
This is how many in Matthew’s gospel feel and Jesus talks about stealing back the house. Sounds kind of odd to think of Jesus as committing assault and robbery. But I think in some ways the better view for our world today is “freeing the hostages.” In the many rules and policies that have caused people to be excluded, to live in poverty and pain, and to remain trapped, they have become hostages to evil- evil that enacts behaviors that do not match God’s vision. In order to restore the house to what it should be, the hostage taker must be subdued and the hostages released. This is what is happening when we hear about Satan and Jesus.
This is Jesus’ identity- the one who saves and frees the hostages. We’re freed!
It might be easy to simply reassure ourselves that we are the hostages, and someone else is the bad guy and that as long as we are not the Pharisees, we can feel pretty good. But not so fast, I think we are being told. Because I think we need to ask ourselves whether we also operate under that fake ID. We hear teaching about what we say- about God and about each other. We are not being freed to just create another hostage situation for others. We are called to choose our behavior- we are called walk the walk and talk the talk of the freed. We're asked are you with me or not? If we put on a good act, but we do not speak as we should- we are using a fake ID. If we talk a good game, but live only for ourselves- you got it- fake ID.
No matter who we are, we all need to remind ourselves that we are freed to live a different way- not just freed to take it out on others and settle scores. We not only need to pay attention to how we act, but what we say- we all know the power and the pain words can have. As we leave today, thankful to be freed, let’s think about how to live in a way that shows that how we live matches our ID.

Getting Personal with God-Psalm 19

Here instead is the final preached version:
In Friday Bible study we’ve been exploring the dynamics of the Psalms, and unpacking the poetic language and metaphor, to see the psalms as a resource for our prayers. Walter Brueggemann, author of Praying the Psalms- Engaging Scripture and the Life of the Spirit., speaks of the world of the Psalms as evoking universal life experiences, often experiences that test our limits, and suggest that we can enter the world of the psalmist, and of all the voices who have since prayed these words in the midst of the same joys, fears and struggles we face in our prayer and relationship with God.
How fitting it that the psalm in our lectionary is Psalm 19. It is not simply a resource for prayer, but is in fact a prayer. A prayer about prayer, and about the relationship between creation, humanity and God. Like in Psalm 1 and 119, the psalmist is rejoicing and praising God’s order and work. But the psalmist also acknowledges the struggle to be faithful, hopes against fear that his imperfect-ness will be redeemed. This psalm moves from the very broad to the intensely personal- it is kind of like taking a zoom feature on a camera and moving from wide angle lens- engaging God in general terms, to a closer view of God as YHWH, or Lord, and finally to the up-close face to face shot of YHWH, a Lord who draws near as “My Rock and Redeemer.” A God who travels from the vast heavens to the place of the psalmist- to one on one intimacy where ultimately nothing can be hidden. In the immediacy of this experience we perceive not only the depth of relationship with God, but see God as Lord who desires just such a relationship with each of us and all of us. While we can be a people who shy away from “too much information,” this psalm proclaims God seeks to know us, to get personal and involved, in the midst of our shortcomings, known and unknown, as our rock and redeemer.
But how can we come to know even in part this God?
For starters, I submit we have to read the whole of Psalm 19 (our lectionary has selected only verses 7-14). To grasp the full picture we need it all, otherwise it’s like watching the TV when they announce they are experiencing “technical difficulties.” To attempt to grasp God’s image with only one half is like the picture without sound or the sound without picture. Verses 7-14 praise God’s law, or instruction. To contemplate only God’s instruction is meaningful, but incomplete. Likewise, if we were to only look at the first verses, we would see God as grand creator of nature but lack the ability to decipher what the voices of nature would lead us to grasp.
To illustrate this point, I want to move through the psalm from the opening verses, those voices of creation. I am reminded of a documentary series from the BBC entitled “Planet Earth.” Over many years and at a cost of 5 million dollars, filmmakers were able to capture exquisite footage of the many facets of our planet- the rainforests, the depths of the ocean, the polar regions, the deserts, and so on, going to the farthest corners of earth, sea and space. The images are breathtaking- far beyond the psalmist’s imagination. My favorite episode, entitled “The Shallow Seas,” depicts the watery regions just off the seven continents in their vibrancy, their diversity and their quirkiness. There are creatures with colors that are too intense and beautiful to fathom, and unusual creatures that have purposes which are clearly intended but whose function remains a mystery. Forces of nature and creatures whose migration and life cycles seem to make no sense on their own, but in the broader picture can be seen to be just as they should be for that much larger scope of the interconnected web of creation. In one example, there are 100,000 cormorants, a species of sea bird which migrates inland to breed, hatch and nurse their young- sea birds in the desert of Bahrain. They need food, but are in vast seemingly barren wasteland, of sand and the shallowest seas. But there are unimaginable events that occur- they are safe from predators, and they arrive at just as seasonal shamal winds begin to blow, whipping up the sands and picking up nutrients in their flow, which are then deposited in the Arabian Gulf to transform it into a feeding ground just for these birds at just that time. Seemingly burdensome and counter intuitive migration is in fact exactly what is needed. To watch the aerial photography demonstrating the winds in relation to the birds is mesmerizing and I’m moved to tears to fathom the God who has created this arrangement.
All of God’s handiwork is too vast to ever take in, but I sense I can join those ceaseless voices of creation bursting forth where the heavens are bursting, telling of God’s glory, day and night- their voice is everywhere. There are images are of joy- of a consummated marriage, strength, indescribable happiness and light in the farthest reaches. Yet, in the words of C.S. Lewis, “Nature never taught me that there is a God of glory and infinite majesty. I had to learn that in other ways. But nature gave the word “glory” a meaning for me- I still don’t know where else I would have found one.” As glorious as it is, even these photographers cannot capture the answers to “WHY”- as much as I can imagine the voices of creation singing ceaselessly their praise, using only this view, I cannot say that I would grasp that God existed if I did not believe, nor could I hope to fully perceive God. Voices everywhere but not heard- Pictures without sound.
We need to learn in other ways. This is the focus of the second section of this psalm. We again hear repeated praise, but this time, praise for God’s law, the torah- Actually more than just law, God’s life-giving instruction. Today, Jean was showing me a cartoon that I think illustrates what we think of when we hear “instruction.” It’s from Hagar the Horrible. In the first frame there is a knock at the door and one of the characters has answered it and is standing there to hear the man who has knocked say, “I have good news! I am hear with life changing instruction for the people of this house!” In the next frame, we see the character who has answered the door go back inside and tell the others, “There’s a man outside who can tell us how to get rich!” We often think of instruction as this- how to’s for making money, getting ahead, losing weight. But instead our checklist, we hear that this instruction that revives the soul; gives wisdom, that should cause hearts to rejoice, that brings enlightenment, and is righteous and enduring. It’s kind of hard to imagine “Rejoicing about the law” but the focus here is upon what is life-giving and life sustaining- this relationship with God. Just as we desire human relationships, we should desire this relationship with God even more- more than the best physical experience, the sweetest of honey, or the greatest riches.
This is when the psalmist shifts from using the Hebrew word El for God, which could be any god, to YHWH, the Lord of Israel- God as Lord who is in relationship with a chosen people-who is involved and desires relationship. We hear six different words that capture the way God provides and proscribes which will give and sustain life. Just as non-human creation has been ordered and arranged, torah is intended to point the way for humanity. Sometimes difficult to understand, or seemingly burdensome and counterintuitive to us, yet life giving and life sustaining.
We should desire to be in and to work at this relationship- to seek to learn God’s words and to go deeper. Engaging this relationship involves constant attention, study and prayer. In the world of the psalmist and in Jewish custom, one would pray three times a day in three separate prayer services- early in the morning, early afternoon, at sundown, with a fourth prayer service on major holidays, a fifth service on Yom Kippur, and many additional personal prayers and blessings throughout the day, for meals, and when going to bed. And one would regularly engage in study and wrestling with all of the meanings of God’s instruction to pursue a faithful understanding. To fully engage this would seem like unceasing speech. God’s word and God’s name always on one’s lips, in constant murmuring. This would also mean that God is constantly on a person’s mind, for to speak we must engage our brain. Yet in the midst of all of this speaking, one could argue that this is simply a one sided relationship. Just because someone speaks doesn’t engender hearing and listening from the other. Indeed some of the hurts in our lives come from feeling unheard. Without a purpose, all of this would be words without a picture.
The fuller picture comes when we put the two images together in dialogue and relationship, where we engage God as Lord, and creator, and we find God’s responses in our prayers, among community, in creation around us, and in the universal dialogue with the Scriptures. Then like the psalmist pray not only in the hope of being heard, but in the faith that we are heard. This is the core of the deepest level of the psalm, beyond words, to meditations of the heart.
We can rely upon this. God is not just God, but our Lord, and not just our Lord, but Lord with us- Rock and redeemer are not just hope, but reality. The psalmist endeavors to join in the ceaseless prayer and praise of creation and of others though he cannot grasp the whole, but only part of the power and glory of the creator. And the psalmist desires to perfect this relationship with God, but is aware that this perfection is beyond his grasp, just as his complete comprehension of God is beyond grasp. And it is in this moment that the psalmist prays about his prayer, his murmuring and his meditation- that he can go as deep as God, as faithfully as God.
To be faithful involves true prayer. In the Hebrew, the phrase kavanat ha lev, is considered essential. These words imply worship, concentration, and perhaps the hardest, singlemindedness. Prayer without this is said to be like a body without a soul- like that incomplete picture. This notion is behind the question of who can know all of their faults? We can ask ourselves- How often do we approach God in a hurry, or distractedly- in worship, in prayer, in study? For each of us, myself included, there are those times when we fail to truly engage the relationship, or we go through the motions. I know that while I should be deep in prayer and contemplation in worship, sometimes I am thinking about what to make for dinner, or something I forgot to do, or someone does something that distracts me- I think we all experience this.
The faith of the psalmist is that even when we fail to bring our full selves to a life of personal engagement with God, God’s faithfulness is not only to our instruction, but to our redemption- a relationship. The subtitle for the Bible Study, “Praying the Psalms” is- “Running Out of Words.” I initially chose this title thinking that when we cannot find the words for prayer, we can turn to the Psalms as a resource, and can join the psalmist in praying not only with words, but with ceaseless meditations of the heart, deep thoughts we cannot grasp or express. But Psalm 19 pushes deeper- we can join in the hope and faith that when we fail to fully engage, in spite of intentions, God will still find the words of our mouths and the meditations of our hearts acceptable. – God, our Lord, who is our rock and redeemer, continuing to seek us out, to get personal and to deepen a relationship that transcends just words. And “this is to be desired above all else.”

School is in Session- Part II

There are many things I am learning during my internship in the city at the Pulpit in the Sky. One of the recent facts I learned is that there are 900 homeless children attending school here in the city school district. I cannot even begin to fathom that there are 900 children, some of whom may be the children I see at the free breakfast in Sundays. What kind of a life must this be? To have nowhere that is permanent? To always be on the move? I recently posted about the need for uniforms for school- there is also a need for shoes. Which leads to another fact.
Not every child can attend school because they do not have shoes that they can wear. They may not have shoes that fit, or shoes that are not flip flops. Another obstacle to attending school. What kind of life is this where children need such basics- laundry detergent, personal care products, school clothes, food to eat and shoes? What does it mean to spend your days walking without?
In this week's lectionary, we find ourselves in the midst of Jesus' teachings on cross living-what it means to live and walk in discipleship of Christ. “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake, and for the sake of the gospel, will save it."

In the extreme this teaching can be about true loss of life. But particularly as we conclude a holiday which honors the laborers, in a nation where we celebrate industry, what does "our life" mean for many of us? We have transformed culturally from a nation where those with the physically demanding jobs, children, and immigrants struggled for decent work conditions, fair wages, reasonable work hours, and limits on how young a worker can be. The labor movement spawned the honor of these people on Labor Day. A day where we honored those whose struggles could have been overlooked by the captains of the industrial revolution. We however, have turned this day into a shopping extravaganza- there are so many circulars for enticements to consume that the paper lies bloated on the front doorstep. And in our own lives at the end of the last summer cookouts and shopping, do we find ourselves lying around a little bloated too? What would it mean to us to consider denying ourselves, to consider losing such a life? What does it mean to walk without, is what we would would be without worth more than what we would gain?

Losing one's life is not about glorifying poverty and want. Instead, "taking up our cross" requires and compels us to see who is in need, and to address the needs of "why." "Taking up our cross" requires and compels us to stand with those whose "life" is not ours and to lift them up. One of the small ways here at TLC we are working to do this is to gather shoes. Shoes for the 900 pairs of feet that need them so that every homeless child has a new pair of shoes for school. Not just because they need shoes, but also because we all get joy and dignity when we are treated like equals, not cast aside.

In two weeks we will present shoes and money for shoes at the altar so that others may gain a little life, dignity and equality. May these shoes bless the lives of those they touch. May this living teach and inspire us to the many other ways we can continue to walk in the path of cross living.

School is in Session

I have already blogged before about the great evangelism of the VBS kids in the neighborhood. So excited to share the good news they did what we struggle to do- they simply but enthusiastically proclaimed, "Hey come with me- check it out! This is good stuff!" This past week I was given a chance to follow their lead and to continue to be inspired. Of the many people who flow through our office building's doors, I have had a couple of occasions now to see one woman- she called me this past week for prayer and to see how I was and to ask for another favor- though I think really one could say it was a prayer. Her son is about to start school in a district where they wear uniforms. Earlier this summer they had been homeless. Now they have a place here in the city, but with the new job they are still catching up and he needs uniforms. There is a uniform clothing bank but they are out of uniforms and helpfully told the recently homeless mom that she should have called sooner. He cannot go to school without a uniform. All of the other places she hoped could help cannot. He is already repeating a grade.
There are uniforms for sale at the Kmart. They are only seven dollars for the shirt and seven dollars for the pants. But even if he only has two that is $28 plus the bus fare to get there and back and what if they do not have them. And he needs a backpack. I have always loved the start of school and cannot imagine what it is like to be this 8 yr old boy. So I tell her I will check out what I can do. I go to the Kmart and get the last two pairs of pants and the last two shirts in his size. Having asked about colors for the backpack I find out he loves Spiderman. I manage to find a light-up Spiderman backpack.
I call her and tell her to come and to bring N, her son. They come and we meet in the chapel. We talk about school. I give him the uniforms and before I can give him the backpack, he tells me that today is his birthday. I tell him I have something special and give him the light-up Spiderman backpack and his face glows and he clutches it.
We talk about how he will walk to school and how he is worried about doing well. I offer that he can come and see me if he has homework questions or just to talk- any time. We talk about how no matter what he is worried about, Jesus is always with him. I learn he is related to the most recent shooting victim in the city and to a victim of a violent gang-related stabbing last year. We talk about how learning gives us choices beyond the street. We put a prayer card in his backpack and then we pray. I convince him to let go of the backpack long enough to hold my hand and his mother's- we pray for his time at school, giving thanks that no matter where we go or what we face, God is always there. I give thanks that they know that God is here in a caring place where they are loved.I silently am praying he will not be a statistic in the next ten years. I pray the new job lasts. I pray that the family stays together and this little boy feels loved. I pray in my heart that he can be an 8 yr old kid whose only focus is the light up Spiderman backpack- which by the way is REALLY cool. I pray each day.
On Sunday we have the Breakfast Fellowship, free breakfast for as many as 80 people. It is devotedly provided by a core group of dedicated laypeople who show great love and compassion. This past Sunday I was honored to lead the confession and forgiveness and the psalm and to offer the benediction. But before all of that, I experienced wonderful table time with a lot of people, from all walks of life, including 6 elementary school kids here with their uncle and father. Mostly boys, but one little girl who dressed up in a floral dress "Because it was church." One of the oldest boys told me he comes to the breakfast pretty often but he "made" the others come- he told them it was good to be here. They ate, they ran around, one or two decided to go to Sunday school and others took a bag of goodies "home." I give thanks they were here, they were fed and they smiled. I wonder how often they smile.
I also wonder on the other days of the week- how often do we reach out to others and tell them- You really need to be here? We all are needy in some way. In the midst of the kids I wonder who is the teacher and who is the student?

Sermon in a Box

Here at the Pulpit in the Sky, the most disconcerting aspect of preaching is "Sermon in a Box" - this is my term of endearment for the Children's Time when each Sunday at each service one of the children brings forth a box which they had been given the prior Sunday. Whatever is in the box will then be revealed and the preacher will in a mystery of faith connect to a theme of the sermon for the day. Last Sunday when I was the preacher, I got a purple crayon at the first service. I bought myself some time by commenting about how purple was my favorite color. Then I asked if this crayon was a part of a box of other crayons. It was. A little more time about whether it was the small box or the really great box with like 100 or so and the "built in sharpener." Right I was on the latter. I talked about no matter how great the purple crayon was, the pictures we made with it could never be as great as the pictures that used lots of different crayons. The purple crayon was a part of something bigger, just like we are not meant to stand alone but be a part of something bigger-God's household. God intends us to be a part of that larger picture. Some other things filled in around that.

Second service I got the box and it contained two stuffed animals- both were dogs. One was a black and tan beanie baby type dog and the other was a chubbier husky type dog. I asked the owner if the dogs had names. They did. I held up the husky and asked it's name- "That one doesn't have a name." THUD. I asked about the other dog- turns out his name is Buster. Then I was told that I squeezed the stomach of the "Dog with No Name" it barks. We experimented with that. Really not finding much to say I finally bumbled onto each of the dogs was special in a different way- the way it looked, whether it had a name, or it made a cool barking sound. Both are in the owner's house. They each have different gifts. Each of us has different things that make us special- our gifts- we are all a part of God's house and it takes all of our gifts to make the house complete. I asked the kids to think about the things that make their friends special this week. WHEW!

These box sermons are a challenge. At each service I gave the box to a new child. There are two rules for the box contents- Nothing living and nothing dead. Deciding to have a little fun and knowing my supervising pastor would be preaching next, I encouraged the kids to live in God's freedom ( part of my sermon ) and that there were no rules. We all chuckled and the service continued.

SO this week in the box, a bottle of electric purple nail polish called "Funky Fingers." Lots of long pauses and a recognition that "Stump the Pastor" may have been achieved. Followed by, I must say, a really great save by the pastor. That was really funny but now I realize there may be a payback in my future.

I think maybe we need to add a new preaching course at LTSG-On the Spot Preaching!

Freed to Truly Serve the Lord

I'd like you to join me in some audience participation. Don't worry- trust me. Many of you will know what to say and when. It seems like an odd place to begin, but I'd like you to imagine we are the end of worship. I am not trying to get out of preaching. So imagine, we've already been gathered and reminded who God is for us; we've heard words of forgiveness, and a dazzling sermon (wink). We're ready to hear the call to "Go in peace. Serve the Lord." And we will respond with "Thanks be to God!" I knew you could do it! One could view this exchange "Go in peace and serve the Lord," as simply a convenient way to end the liturgy and leave church behind 'til next week. Yet this call to "serve the Lord" and be sent forth is the same call the Israelites heard after they had been gathered by Joshua in our Old Testament lesson. I invite you to contemplate with me what exactly it is we are proclaiming when we promise to serve the Lord in these times.

Before our Joshua story opens, the Israelites have been told that they're God's chosen people. God used Moses to liberate them from generations of slavery in Egypt and lead them to a new land. They witnessed God's might in parting the Red Sea so they could escape and it was so exciting! God gave them commands for living and asked them to trade their slavery and other gods for a new relationship with God as Master. They agreed to this relationship. But since then, they've been confused and wandering in the wilderness without a GPS system and God has been slow in fulfilling the big promise. As they journey to their destination not everyone has been happy to see them- they've been attacked on all sides by enemy tribes like the Amorites, and... Why are God's chosen people having to do this? Is this really the way it is supposed to be? They liked being the "chosen," but if this isn't really all that great why exactly do they have to stop worshipping their other gods? And why doesn't God share all of the details? Maybe they just need to take control. It's hard to wait and trust.

Moses gathered his inner circle to plan the next strategy, but they were divided about how to win the next big challenge. Each was convinced he should take charge. He knew what was needed. His view was right. Joshua was in the minority. He advised against rashly taking matters into their own hands. He urged waiting and trusting in God to provide. But I can just imagine it, "We're exhausted from all of this fighting and our patience is gone. There's trouble all around us, Joshua, and you say we should wait, not decide for ourselves?" He wasn't popular. Yet for his faith, God anointed Joshua the new leader, and they won the battle even when it seemed impossible.

Joshua's reward? Gather all the tired, impatient people who've been fighting amongst themselves, and challenging and complaining and continuing to seek out and worship other gods to hear Joshua speak God's words of promise after the bailout. Before the relationship is renewed, Joshua recounts a history of what God has done and who God is in this relationship, even now. This relationship has a history.

I encourage you to read the verses our lectionary omitted that relate this history which goes something like this:

God gave Abraham children even when he didn't believe it possible and tried to solve it another way. God gave more than a little piece of land, but enough that everyone could have space if they could share. When God's vision was corrupted, God brought deliverance, not as quickly as people wanted, and not in the way they thought, but God gave what was needed for that time. When trouble arose, God offered rescue in ways that are surprising- like using a hornet to drive enemies away. God spoke and the forces of nature obeyed and chaos subsided.

As I read, I was drawn to all of the actions of God for the people, "I gave… I heard you… I rescued… I delivered." But then I was drawn to what lies underneath- what kind of God would continually relate to us in this way? When the people grumbled, God could have become jealous and demanding, or simply tired of humanity, and invoked law and vengeance and wrath. Instead, underlying all of God's doing is a sense of God's being- as loving creator and provider. Angered and anguished, yet desiring a relationship, even now. Even after more challenging and turning away by the people who God had not so long ago freed. This is God's history.

Hearing Joshua, the people seem to get it. They have a bailout conversion and they promise this time to truly serve the Lord! Yet, this passage is not the end of Scripture. We don't hear the "all's well that ends well" music as Joshua rides off into the sunset-"MISSION ACCOMPLISHED." This is because the people have a history too- of quickly forgetting what God has done and how to live. After they promise, Joshua, still speaking for God, tells them they will FAIL to keep their promise. And they do -after lots of big talk, the "faithful" soon move on, building another altar to another god. They fail again and again in what they do, how they treat each other, and in trying to define each other by doing and having. God knows this will happen, but renews the relationship anyway! Joshua becomes one of a long line of prophets, culminating with God creating another relationship that will be everlasting. Instead of "manna for this day," God provides living bread and words of eternal life to a people continually imperfect in being; to a people who continually struggle.

The root of the struggle lies in what we learn from the Hebrew translation- The people don't just promise "to serve." They promise to TRULY serve the Lord. Liberated from the bondage of slavery in Egypt, they're being given the chance to liberate themselves from the bondage of their way of living, and all their competing gods, to TRULY serve one Lord- To let God order not just their actions but their existence. The question of whether they really can is the struggle that continues in us.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO TRULY SERVE THE LORD? How do we hear and live into this in our own time of challenges? Perhaps we hear "serve the Lord" primarily as a call to "Go and DO." But serving the Lord involves something deeper than just visible actions. We are challenged to enter a relationship not just of doing, but of being. More than a short-term "no risk" commitment. A long-term relationship, with all its ups and downs. "Serving" is not an event with a defined beginning and end, but a perpetual state- a state in which we stop fighting with ourselves and each other, stop struggling to serve other gods, and re-orient our lives to the one God. TO TRULY SERVE THE LORD requires inner transformation of our hearts and minds so that "whose we are" shapes our doing.

But we'd rather focus on our doing first. After all, we are a people of "doing." Our culture suggests that what we "do" establishes our identity. Ask a young child what he or she wants to be upon growing up and you will hear what someone wants to do. We like action. We like to be seen "doing." Our nation's history is forged not by our faith, as much as our industry and ingenuity. We honor the "self-made" man or woman. We praise technology, convincing ourselves that it's solely by our own effort that we reap the harvest. So, it's not surprising that one of the latest "how-to books" reviewed on CNN is entitled "Carve Your Own Road." Its author assures readers they can become the master or mistress of their own destinies, choosing their path, even in these times. They can choose and thus control every aspect of their lives to get what they want preferably before someone else does. We like to say that success is within our grasp. We also praise or criticize others based upon what they have "done" or "not done." And it becomes an impossible standard. When serving equals doing, we turn serving into Law. We try comparing ourselves to others- thinking "I do most things right- what about him, or her, or you?" But the truth is, nothing we can DO will bless this relationship. We all are in bondage and cannot break free. We are prisoners.

Today's lesson shows God turning to us over and over again. It also captures who we are- we keeping turning away to what we are sure gives us what we need. God continues to give, but we continue to believe we can do better. We keep searching for the answers we want and we deceive ourselves. We proclaim we will serve the Lord, but these words don't become a pattern of being that is "Written on our hearts." What we write on our hearts is based upon the sufficiency of our doing, and the other gods we worship, gods that cannot give what the Lord gives no matter how many times we ask, yet we challenge each other again and again for them- gods of land, and power and resources. In this way of living we are choosing who, or what, we serve.

To "TRULY serve the Lord" we must confront OUR other gods- we all have them. The things we truly worship- the god of career, investments, food or sports. Whatever it is we give pride of place; whatever it is we seek to give us comfort and peace. We have faith- that more of these gods will free us from the weight of the world. In Charles Dickens' classic, A Christmas Story, the main character, Scrooge, is confronted about his ways of living by a series of ghosts, one of whom is his former law partner, Jacob Marley. Marley's ghost appears, weighed down by clanking and rattling chains. A frightened Scrooge asks what the chains represent. Marley moans that the links of the chains were forged in his life in his choosing greed, pride and self-interest as his masters. When we serve our other gods, we too hold onto and forge new links of the chains that imprison and enslave us to these masters.

God offers freedom, yet we cringe at making God the new Lord and master of our world. "TRULY serving the Lord" means accepting that God's timetable and God's words order our lives. We're not sure about this freedom. It's said that when people are released from prison, some are unable to make the adjustment to freedom. Prison is unbearable, but it has structure and limitations. Being freed "on the outside" presents a whole new world of decisions and temptations. We get caught up in our plans. We say that this time we'll get it right, but there is a constant temptation. How can we let God lead when culture tells us otherwise? Old ways of living become too comfortable. It's frightening to leave behind old friends and old hangouts. It requires us. Like the Israelites, to walk into unknown territory, to live with a new identity and to face those who will tell us not to bother. This living is countercultural and it's hard. Like the Israelites, we get impatient. We don't want to struggle or wait for God. Perhaps we fear serving the Lord because it challenges our greatest other god, the god of self-sufficiency. We can't trust breaking free to serve the Lord. We are in bondage to that fear.

"TRULY serving the Lord" means we must trust in God's providing and letting God order our existence all of the time, rather than at times seeing God as the God of convenience- the "Turkey Hill" God. Maybe we'd rather only promise to serve the Lord when things are bad, or let God be in charge just long enough for that bailout. But do we really trust or do we keep our backup gods close by, just in case? If the preferred plan is Plan A and the fallback is Plan B- is God our Plan A or our fallback? Or perhaps we find ourselves trying to change the equation in our relationship with God to one of bargaining- "IF you do this God, I will do that." God isn't using this model. Thankfully God doesn't base our relationship on any of our terms.

Instead I'm reminded of my own growing up. I had my fair share of "bailout" conversions-times when I did something wrong and my Dad would sit me down for a "talking to." These talks always opened with "Take it from me- you don't have to do this the hard way." Advice followed about making the right choices. I wish I could say I faithfully followed his lead. I wanted to, but more often than not I wanted to believe that I knew better. Other options seemed so appealing and I was sure he just didn't get it. But it was only a matter of time before "I can't believe I have to bail you out of this jam- AGAIN!" could be heard. Perhaps this has happened to you too. We're saved in the nick of time, and we're incredibly grateful. We won't do THAT again. But then...after awhile, well… you know how it goes. We don't want to face the fact we might need to look at the world in a different way. We're relieved that we've been spared, but we also want to stomp our feet and whine a little, and chafe against the idea someone else knows best. Like sullen teenagers we swear our Parent just doesn't understand. We are in bondage to "I know better."

We all are in bondage.

Yet, in grace, God calls us to serve even though we're in bondage to all of these struggles. We're liberated from ourselves by a God who knows us and our struggles, but renews the relationship anyway, sending us to go in peace and serve the Lord. But we are not freed to just pick up our chains again on the way out the door. Instead we are no longer captive to our way of looking at the world. We're freed to live in the blessing of God's arrangement. To live thankfully in a world where God continues creating, ordering, toiling and arranging for us. Where God continues sustaining and redeeming this relationship even when we cannot. What "better" relationship is there than to let go of our striving, set free to focus on being in a household where God has it all covered?

Prisoners released from jail are often asked how they will spend their first day of freedom. We could ask how we will spend our days of freedom? We are freed to live in a world where no longer have to "look out for # 1." This is the world of our other gods. Freed to see ourselves as part of a much larger arrangement that includes others and their needs, not just our own. Freed to trust in God's providing for all, rather than stockpiling and striving. Freed to see that the phrase "as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord" is not an individualistic promise. God is not our individual personal God, but Lord of the whole household. We're freed to adopt the much more expanded view of "household" of the Hebrew Scripture, where one's entire family tree by birth and marriage, hired hands and servants and everyone living on the land were all encompassed in the term "household." We're talking vast numbers of people, all part of God's household. Promising to live in this arrangement is a promise not only of how each of us will live, but how we will work to sustain the promise across the entire group- even when we or others stumble. God's arrangement is radical "big picture" thinking. We are called to embrace this arrangement of TRULY serving the Lord in this relationship where all of the land, and all of the towns and all of the resources are lovingly arranged by God for all in the household. We are called and we are freed to THIS very way of life where God is saying "take it from me- you don't have to do this the hard way." It seems too good to be true.

So can we really live as freed people, where what we do is shaped first by whose we are? We leave here again today with that chance, as a people claimed and liberated in spite of all of the times we have disagreed, grown impatient and challenged God and each other. God continues in ultimate faithfulness, knowing we are imperfect in reciprocating, yet calling us back again to serve in faith and trust in this way of life each day- to "TRULY serve the Lord." This week I encourage you- step out of the bondage of the way the world tells us things are. Remember the sending words "Go in peace, serve the Lord" and in thanksgiving to God, ask each day- how will I spend my freedom today?

Living Parables

Here at the Pulpit in the Sky, it is VBS week and the new Vicar has been working the registration table. The first night, a swarm of parents and kids from our parish and the Episcopalian church down the street swept into the parish building- the energy is infectious. We had also canvassed the neighborhood to invite kids and their parents to join us for our meal and the program which includes a program for adults while the kids are off doing their thing. We are studying four different parables- the Good Shepherd, the Good Samaritan, the Sower and the Wise Builder. The first night I was thrilled to see a couple women from the neighborhood come with their children. And our Liberian refugee family with their children. Then came a woman who attends our free breakfast for the needy on Sunday- she wanted to drop off her granddaughter. I invited her to stay and join us for the meal- she went out and told her daughter to park the car- and they stayed and ate, and went to the adult Bible study. A couple of Ethiopian girls from around the corner came too because they heard other kids saying there was this meal and fun at the Lutheran church.
Last night they were all back and the Ethiopians brought two other friends because it's more fun with more friends! And some of our neighboring Latino families came. All at tables with some of our families who have adopted children from faraway places and those who have lived here their whole lives.Without all of the boundaries we sometimes place on our connections.
We had more unexpected visitors from more unexpected places than we thought which temporarily stressed the ladies of the kitchen. Here in the land of "one can never have enough food for guests", we did not have leftovers- we did however, have enough of what we needed. And one can never have enough of what we experienced. The singing, the laughing, the learning and the sharing, and sometimes when someone is a little down, a welcomed hug. Living the parables we hear.
I give thanks for the children who shepherded their friends here, for the chance to plant seeds for the future, to be the meal and the love that beats whatever the world is dishing out and show that you can believe there is another way because you see it lived. Thanks be to God!

Traveling at the Speed of Light

Where have the last two years gone? Two years ago I was stressing about whether I could learn Greek and whether I could master the "going back to school" thing. Two years ago I was preparing for my entrance interview. And I had discovered a fellow blogger Prepare Ye who was also headed to LTSG.
Two years ago I was finishing up most of a law practice and contemplating how I would coordinate everything so the commuter seminarian/wife/mother/lawyer thing would be managed with precision.
Two years ago seems like yesterday.
It does not seem possible that I would have now completed teaching parish, CPE, the speed-dating of internship matching, and now team building with my supervisor the last couple of days, having the most affirming and enriching time, wondering why my start date is two months away (knowing I should enjoy this time of waiting).
Two years ago I had no idea I would learn to drive so frequently on auto-pilot, or that I would set up and tear down a room for one night, 27 times, or drive about 11 hours each week.
Two years ago, if you told me I would learn to skim enormous books and then write a 15 page paper in short order, discuss the difference between orthodoxy and orthopraxy, and have about 200 books more than I did before, I would not have believed you.
Two years ago, if you told me that at the end of team building I would be eating lunch with a potential commuter student and discussing the value of taking Greek first because of the rich nuances it would open up for preaching, professing that I still do the translation first,I would have laughed loud and long. Though for the benefit of any Greek instructors lurking on this blog (VH), I extol the virtues of Bibleworks with BDAG- also not on my horizon two years ago.
Two years ago, I weighed a little less, and my hair was a little less gray. But two years ago, I had not met some of the most amazing and amusing people, with whom we have all laughed, cried, gritted our teeth and ranted. And now we are the latest Lutheran diaspora- cast to the winds to inflict our burgeoning pastoral identities on unsuspecting congregations.
And as I looked around these last couple days, I think each vicar-to-be was transformed a little more before my eyes and I have a sense of promise for the future of the church. And I know that time will continue to fly and I will continue to be amazed about the things I thought I would never do.
And the truth is I could never do them.
There is no way that this journey could have happened in all its scary-ness and amazingness but for the work of the Spirit who early on showed me that every time I think I am managing this process, God laughs a belly-whopping laugh. We leave for journeys to learn if the gifts we think we have been given are affirmed, to receive new gifts needed- given in time and context- some will be easy and some will be hard gifts.
And we will return transformed.
So while we continue to travel at the speed of light, may the Light of Christ ever be with us.

Journey Back from the Wilderness

It has been almost two months since I last posted anything. Not because I had nothing to say, but because there was too much. And I confess that as I had started to learn who was reading my blog, I started to think about transparency (yes,I know that has become a new buzzword in politics, sorry). How much self-disclosure does one engage in? And I was slogging my way through a record number of credits in seminary with Psalter, Theology of Stewardship, Religion in America, Pastoral Theology of Cancer, Preaching the Gospel of Mark and an independent study on chaplaincy as ministry of healing. And driving back and forth to LTSG five days of the week, staying overnight one of them, I learned how quickly to set up and tear down a room, and at times it seemed that all that was missing was the manna.
And in the midst of all of that, two other things happened. I rejoiced as we discovered that our older daughter had developed enough coping strategies to stop taking her Concerta which improved her overall mood- the Concerta was triggering her depression. But then...
Our younger daughter developed panic attacks, that quickly escalated to include some obsessive tendencies and phobias. Thus began the vortex of doctor visits, cognitive behavioral therapy visits, and medication management. And every day waiting for the other shoe to drop. I became the person who could not turn off the cell phone during the day, ever. Realizing first hand what it means to remember self-care when the world is a maelstrom. And knowing that one of the triggers seems to be difficulty adjusting to the fact this "call" thing is becoming more real as I prepare for internship. Yet I am the person to whom she turns. And becoming keenly aware of the woefully inadequate coverage for mental health issues. I experienced my own Lenten journey living through good days, or hours, and those heart-wrenching troughs where my daughter is crying and shaking, and telling me she can't take it,yet through her tears telling me she longs to be better.
My own need to constantly "return to the Lord your God" even while I felt like the Israelites wandering in circles. My own need to confront the hidden-ness of God and to conclude that Luther is right- "asking why" will drive you mad. Look for Christ in the suffering of the cross. And to look for God in the miniscule. To take comfort in the things often overlooked in the rush of the busy-ness of life.
To learn to visualize handing over my daughter to God.
To seek out my friends and learn to be a better recipient of kindness.
But out of this feeling of wandering in the wilderness, has not only come this more poignant sense of daily living, but also in the midst of this the serenity that my calling is secure.
I have never felt that the answer to all of this would be to stop going to seminary, or delay internship, or to think that maybe this is a sign that I should not continue this journey even as my daughter told me that she thinks that there is a God, but God is not loving. That a loving God would not be able to allow the planet to be degraded, and people to suffer. That I therefore must be "crazy" to give up a perfectly good career as a lawyer for this.
And how dare I?
And I have done a lot of listening, to a 14 year old who is probably a better theologian than I. And by listening and not chastising, but discussing not "fixing" we continue this journey with her knowing that I am not changing the journey, but do not need her to embrace it. That I am here to help her deal with her stress, but am not captive to it.
But I give thanks that this is not just "my" issue. As a family we all have been engaged in the ways that we as a family share in helping each other, and share in responsibility for our home together. While the direction of the path is uncertain, whether this is short-term or the "rest of our lives," I give thanks that God is in our midst and active, especially in my husband and older daughter.
I give thanks that God has gifted our younger daughter with the ability to write and draw and create music, all of which are helping her. I give thanks that she trusts us enough to be honest, to talk and to still want that goodnight kiss.
And in the midst of all of this, where I truly had to decide what is important and what is not, God gave me the grace and strength to get through the "too busy" semester while learning a lesson about not doing that again. When you have as many as three appointments a week, and should carve out some self care as well, I can see how overfunctioning is the road to ruin. A learning which will come in handy as I head to internship.
And with the preaching/text discussion every other week, I got to feel what it is like to preach when exhausted (too many nights of 3-4 hours of sleep) and to preach the good news when it doesn't feel like there is much. And to preach about the person afflicted with demons, and picture one's own and to pray that it is God's will to release someone from something. I must admit I was not looking for any more character building experiences, but can see that everything I have been experiencing allows me to more fully appreciate the journey of others I will encounter.
And I know that the only way I have come this far is by the hand of God active in the lives of those who surround me.
Yesterday I watched another class at LTSG graduate and head out into the world, and realized that as all who would be leaving the Ridge should stand and be a part of the Farewell and Godspeed, that included me and my fellow interns, it is hard to believe that the journey has come this far. And no matter what...
"Surely it is God who saves me, I will trust in Him and not be afraid, for the Lord is my stronghold and my sure defense and He will be my Savior."

Pulpit in the Sky with Diamonds

Way too many things as usual in our world. I now know where I will be for my internship year- a church whose official name is- The Evangelical Lutheran Church of The Holy Trinity, more commonly just called "Trinity, Lancaster." For a full view of my internship world click here. There are many exciting and challenging things to consider and I am eager to begin, albeit a little nervous.
The pastors and staff have been a joy to meet. It is exhilirating to know that though the congregation has never had an intern, they are "thrilled" to have me there. And in my interaction with the various staff and volunteers, the excitement is indeed palpable. Having now had the tour of the sanctuary and the separate parish building, I am sure I will get lost a least once a day for awhile.
But I also believe that everyone there will simply smile and help me get oriented... again. The work of the church is extensive both locally and globally. There is much to see and to learn.

The church has been around since the early 1700's, and a Muhlenberg is involved, so truly there is a cloud of witnesses. There is actually a letter to the "pastor of the congregation" from Muhlenberg which is shared with each new pastor. The picture above depicts the view from the organ in the balcony to the pulpit which, when one stands in it, is almost level with the balcony. Behind the pulpit is a 16 foot mural of the Resurrected Christ. The congregation is used to a 25 minute sermon and the congregation library holds 3600 books which are theological- in other words, there is not a " DaVinci Code" in sight.
And as I stood in this pulpit, knowing the first date I will preach as the first vicar, gazing at the massive Bible in the pulpit, looking at the windows, one of which is by Louis Comfort Tiffany, I wonder- what does the cloud of witnesses think? Will the 16 foot Jesus come alive during my sermon and step down to say,"That's not what I meant!" when I am preaching?
So I think of the words I shared with a potential commuter student just a couple weeks ago. She asked, " How will I make this all happen?" I encouraged her to ponder instead, " How will God work through me to bring me to this new place?"
With a little creative license from the medical profession, perhaps I need to hear-
"Preacher, hear thyself!"

While I sort that out I confess to singing the old Beatles song with a new twist...

And After Internship Matching..the Wait

Ready for Speed Dating

Today and tomorrow are times of concentrated effort as our middler class spends time interviewing with congregations from across the country who are graciously willing to have an intern for the coming year. In this year in particular gearing up has taken an added strenuous times as the economy has in some instances decimated the ability of parishes to support interns. And it has become more challenging for interns to contemplate who to have some level of viability in the year on internship. Given the ages of my children, with LC#1 being a high school senior next year, I am not free to travel just anywhere. Yet, I feel blessed to have six possible locations for my learning experience. Though some see our region as being fairly homeogenous and monolithic, in fact each of these flocks is vastly different from the other, and a few are in very transitional times. From my perspective this translates into my feeling that there are many exciting and challenging opportunities in which I may be stretched and formed in new ways. In the good old days, our internship matching process has been called "the meat market" though I prefer the updated phrase " speed dating."
I have read the profiles, and looked over whatever else the congregation provided as a glimpse into their world, and I have visited websites, talked to old interns and acquaintances of supervisors.
In short, I have done everything I can do. Which is I think the main point. So much of this process is not up to me, and not even up to the supervisors or field education team, but is, I hope and believe, the work of the Spirit in our midst.
Some of my classmates are dealing with great anxiety as they sort out their situations in relationship to the notion of being ready to "mobilize."
I am again reminded of the story in the Gospel of Mark in our recent lectionary of the calling of the first disciples. "Come and follow me on the way" What are the nets we find it hard to cast down? Are we so preoccupied with them that Jesus needs to yell to get our attention?
Jesus says come and FOLLOW me. Even in ministry it is hard to remember that we are called to follow God's lead, not to try to lead God where we want to go. To prepare myself for the way I was blessed to spend two hours with Taize and contemplative prayer and walking the labyrinth by candlelight with some friends in our chapel in the evening. And now, it is time to listen to where God is calling. Veni Sancte Spiritus.