What the heck do you do with Luke on an Anniversary Sunday?

Today during the children’s message we talked about what an anniversary was. There were lots of guesses. An anniversary was a day when the guy surprises the girl and the girl surprises the guy. It means cake, and it’s about something people did. It’s something people who are married do. Then we talked about how anniversaries are about a big event- it could be getting married. Or for our church it’s kind of like a birthday. But anniversaries are about doing something together. I had the kids hold hands and asked what would happen if the person at each end decided to run toward the wall closest to them. Well, there would be fighting or the chain would break. And we learned that to stay together takes work. And then I asked them to turn around. And at first one person in the middle just twisted around and everyone else got jumbled. I encouraged the person on the end to lead them to turn the whole chain around. And we learned about working together. And then we looked at the cross. Because the big event that brings us together is about Jesus. Jesus’ love is why we are here, and it’s what helps us work together. And Jesus is why we get to celebrate.

Here at Holy Spirit, a long time ago, people gathered responding to a need for a Sunday School chapel in this part of the city. But they quickly realized they really wanted a church. It was kind of radical asking to be freed from the church that started us. But it seemed critical. In critical moments we get clarity. 102 years ago, there was that clarity. At other times however, we can deceive ourselves into thinking things happening elsewhere don’t matter or have nothing to do with us. This congregation had a long tradition of strong dynamic leaders who grew an off shoot Sunday School chapel into a vibrant congregation in this city. It took a lot of labor and saving and having some of the right people at the right time. But basically like all of the other congregations of the city, we kind of functioned unto ourselves. One way I know this is that none of our fellow churches knew a lot about us really. When I first came and would ask beyond these doors about Holy Spirit, most people here in the city would say they really didn’t know. Not bad, just unknown. Collectively we were complacent as churches. Today we hear about a manager who has gotten complacent. Used to doing things his way.  

In the parable, it’s only when the kind of complacency the manager had fallen into is disturbed that he gets an eye opener. Until now he’s probably been really focused on his own needs to the exclusion of the needs of his neighbors. But then he realizes he actually really needs other people. And even then he still comes off as a little suspicious. I suspect changes of heart often come across that way. He spends a phenomenal amount of energy in a new direction. But others aren’t really totally sure what to make of it. Yet while his motives may be mixed, there is blessing in what he does. People who owe a lot of money are given breathing room, and the boss who was feeling a money crunch gets some relief and people are connected in ways they had not really been relating before.

What does that have to do with our anniversary?  Anniversaries are about a past, and a present and hope for the future.

As we’ve gotten to know each other, and I’ve heard your rich history, I’ve learned of the quilts that were sent, and the pretzels for the military, and caring for neighborhood orphans. When I asked you to replenish the benevolence fund recently, there was $1800 in two weeks! All ways of caring, past and present.

At the same time, there were wise people who wanted to make sure that this parish was always cared for-always had a pastor. And a seminary education fund was born, and funded. A fund whose original intent I suspect was somewhat self serving- wanting to guarantee this place always had a pastor, we prepared to fund his education. And later wanting to know our own were cared for if they went to seminary. We took care of our own. An amazing amount of forethought, and may I dare say, at the same time, a fund that was really about serving ourselves. Holy Spirit has been blessed to not only have pastors but to fund education for two Lutheran pastors.

But I said we get clarity when there is a critical moment. What is the critical moment?

Well, last year our bishop brought to all of us the fact not enough is being given to  fund the ministry we’ve been called to share- asking us to see more than our own congregations, and to stop doing things complacently. And it would be easy to say that’s not about us. But our leaders gathered to think about how to do more. Out of that conversation and looking at all of our assets closely, we began talking about the seminary education fund. Sitting there with $90,000 in it. And truth be told the first thing people wanted to know was whether we really needed to keep it for its intended purpose. Couldn’t we use it for our other needs? Because here we are and there it sits. Just growing and being unused. How should it be managed?

But, there’s another critical moment. The fact that in the next 10 years 50% of the ELCA pastors will retire. Half. Take the number of leaders and make it half. And unlike being forgiven half a debt, creating a deficit by 50%- only half the number of churches with pastors is a loss. And dare I say it, God could ask what the heck we’ve all been doing. Going around without ever thinking about the future and even what it takes to be a pastor. Used to be congregations and synods paid for the dormitory and tuition, and future pastors would pay a few hundred dollars a semester to live in a dorm, have their meals and laundry taken care of and be sent out to churches to learn. Somehow we never saw that that changed. Except here where we did our part for our own. And one could say let those other parishes pay for their own. It’s not our debt. But that’s not really the truth. We are church together.

Today it costs no less than $100,000 to cover books, tuition, fees, meals, transportation and supplies. And at the Philadelphia Seminary you can’t even get a meal on campus anymore. How do future pastors, young or old, pay for all of that? If you go full time you can’t work. Students with families end up with kids on food stamps. Seminaries have branches of the local food bank feeding future pastors. I think God wonders what the heck is going on.

So here we are. We realized that if we had a fund that could pay for educating pastors, it could pay for educating other pastors studying who were from this synod- about 18 right now. Maybe even cut their debt in half. We had a transformation and did an unexpected thing. $25,000 to endow a fund in our synod. And suddenly a whole bunch of people knew who we were. At synod assembly this year we offered another $25,000 as a matching grant.

 And the money keeps coming, and with it, those relationships. The ones we weren’t tending.

This is the kind of shrewd Jesus is talking about. Being shrewd with what you’ve been given in a way that furthers the relationships and care of the kingdom. Clarity and new direction. Deeper relationships and a future.

It started with us wanting to know if we could use that money for ourselves. But being transformed by God. And inviting others to share in a new totally radical thing.  That is worth celebrating!

But I want to invite you one step farther- God wants you in this story. Today. You see, it’s one thing to be gracious with money of another day. It is something else to let God speak about our money today. Between now and the end of November, I want each of you- yes, each of you, to join this work. In addition to whatever else you give, give something. Yes, something more. Sacrificial giving. Put it in an envelope and mark it Seminary. Think of all the saints and leaders who have gone before here, and let’s surprise ourselves by celebrating and honoring God’s work past and present in all of us and giving for God’s future.   

And may God the giver of all good things continue to bless the world in and through us as we journey into the future together. AMEN

Doing Ministry While Waiting for the Lord Even When We Don't Want To

As usual the Wednesday Prayer Group starts with a fair amount of sharing about what is going on in our world. And by “world” I generally mean, our personal worlds as senior seminarians about to embark on the next journey beyond required reading, syllabi, projects and the like- the somewhat ominous and exciting “just beyond the horizon” world of the first call. Having been immersed in a process best described as “hurry up and wait” we have agonized, prayed and hoped our collective selves through the end of internships, the faculty approvals and candidacy committee approval processes which have culminated in more paperwork. And more “hurry up and wait” and more agonizing, hoping and praying about where in the country we would be sent by the Spirit within the ELCA. Hoping we were not last to be picked for the dance. Into this swirl, this year we added the fact that statistically not all of us can hope for a call within a year of graduation, that there may need to be a “Plan B” while balancing debt and families and moves. More agonizing and hoping and praying.
And each person’s process is different, so there is a comparison of where each of us may be on the time and space continuum. Some are juggling how to do call interviews and graduate and move on a very short timetable. Some are navigating long distance interviews, or long distance travel to find out if there will be interviews. Some have congregational paperwork to review. Some have a name but no paperwork yet. Some just hope their phone will ring and we all find ourselves challenged by the words “wait for the Lord.”
And oddly the more we know the more impatient we may find ourselves. “It’s been a week since I told them when I can meet, why haven’t I heard?” “It’s been two weeks since I said I was interested, why haven’t I heard?” “It’s been a month since they said they would be in touch, why haven’t I heard?” “If they know they want to see me, what is taking so long? If they know they want a pastor, what is taking so long? If they said they had something in mind, what’s taking so long?” “What does it all mean? Don’t they know I am on a timeline?” “Don’t worry, it will be OK” might be good words for you, but not for me, we might find ourselves thinking.
All of which reminded me how I was on the other end of this process not quite ten years ago. Actually a two pronged process. “What do you mean we have to complete all this paperwork and then it has to be reviewed and then it has to be voted on and then it has to be submitted and approved? What do you mean we need to think about who we really are a congregation, we can’t just get a pastor? What do you mean you don’t have a candidate yet? What do you mean the candidate does not want to meet us again? You mean we have to schedule a special meeting? You mean we have to do this by this date?” We as a congregation council and the call committee had to try to coordinate dates for not only all of us, but the bishop’s office and the candidate and at times it was like herding cats. Everyone wanted the same thing and everyone wanted it in the way that was most convenient for him or her.
We wanted a candidate with experience but also energy who was a good preacher and teacher, but honored what we already did well. Who could be a leader but affirmed us. And who could help us sort it out unless of course we already knew. And pastoral candidates wanted a congregation with vitality but not one with an iron will. With a well oiled structure but one that would be moldable to the creative desires of the pastor. And the perfect vision was whatever was perfect for each of us, individually.
Meanwhile our long time now retired pastor wanted to be able to rejoin three generations of his family worshipping with us which was forestalled by our process. And we all wanted to get it done as soon as possible so things could go back to the way they were.
And I remember him saying he wanted this process to be done as quickly as possible while a bishop was saying “slow down.” And I found myself saying we wanted it all to take only as long as it took for us to be faithful to where God was leading, because if we were not, ours would not be a place he would want to return to. I found myself asking for him to understand God’s timing.
And that was nine years ago this month as I now find myself saying – remember God’s timing and wait for the Lord. Remember we are all people with lives and schedules, who all want to be drawn together in great and wonderful ways. But that those ways take time for people to juggle lives and schedules, time to say what needs to be said in honesty so that we come as close to being candid as we can and to remember God is taking all of us on a journey, not taking us for a ride.
Wait for the Lord.
SO what can we do while we wait to begin our ministry?
1. Avoid call process envy- it’s not a competition. So rejoice with those who rejoice, pray with those who need intercession, and dispense comfort to those who are anxious. Ministry happens here.
2. Pray for the bishop and staff of the synod who is receiving you- for their guidance and discernment and for them to be fed and nourished in their ministry- all of it, not just your part of it. Plug into their websites and e-prayers for ways to begin to walk with them in your heart and mind. Ministry happens here too!
3. Pray for the congregation who is getting or has your name when you know it and are waiting- that they can set aside all that would distract them and prepare for holy conversations. Pray that you can do likewise. Need I say this is ministry?
4. Remember everyone on your journey with you- your friends and family would probably really love to spend time with you. Now is a good time. By now you get the point, right?
5. Take care of yourself- eat healthy, strengthen your body and renew your mind-you will need these things for the journey. Minister to yourself- take care of what God has given you-you!
6. Recall the craziest time on internship or elsewhere when you would have longed for a breather-God will be faithful which means those times will come again- so breathe now. Receive this as a gift.
7. Give thanks- it’s a good time to be intentional about thanking everyone who has pushed, pulled, carried and accompanied you- speak those words, the ones you need to share-ministry happens here!
8. Give your time- there are lots of organizations who need healers and helpers- if this gives you energy and perspective- ministry happens everywhere!
9. Walk with the word- not just for class. Meditate, journal and swim in God’s words for this time. Part of ministry is leading others in disciplines like this-but that means experiencing them for yourself.
10. Celebrate! Even the Israelites needed to look back and see how far they had come before the next part of the journey-remember all those places God has brought you through and all of the people God used to do it. Don’t take all you have already been through for granted! Celebrate that God continues to prosper the work begun in you- a person formed for ministry who is already doing ministry and receiving God’s blessings.
Waiting for the Lord is not easy, but lest we fall victim to being people who really mean “my will be done” may God give each of us the strength to trust God’s timing and providing.

Between the Firsts and the Lasts

As this past year drew to a close and I am now halfway through my J-term class, I am halfway through my coursework at LTSG. A semester until internship, and the knowledge that the time after internship will fly. And at this halfway point, lots of things have begun to crystallize in new ways, and perhaps this is my epiphany. This time last year, I like some of the juniors I talked to this year, had that sense of brief relief, having survived that first semester, and discovering that coming back to school was, in some ways, a relief- to be with people who understand this whole "becoming a pastor thing." Yet this year, I am ready to head out to internship, because after the summer at the hopsital "doing," I am itchy to get out where this whole "pastor thing" happens, not just talk about it. And after starting seminary feeling like it was all swirling wildly, knowing that the swirl has a Director. As I listen to those who are in the junior class, I hear them saying the very things my peers and I said last year, knowing that the seniors can say the same about us middlers. There is a certain joy in being able to see where one was, with one foot into the future unknown, when it is framed in discernment in the community here.
But as sure as I say that, I am, I daresay, impatient. Yet, I know that this year is in so many ways a gift. A gift of time to luxuriate in learning. To know that I have traveled from that first day of Greek to probably the last class with a professor who has been a mainstay in my seminary learning, and to bask in that one moment of praise. A time to draw my family close in ways that will not always be possible. A time to enjoy the sparkle of the face of LC#1 and her boy. I gaze upon the Adorable Couple, knowing that this first real "romance" is also a marker of the time which will be the last of high school, far sooner than I expected it. To watch as LC#2 is even more quickly hurtling toward that same direction, or at least it seems that warp speed has been activated.
A time to move closer toward that goodbye to my home parish. And to stand in the tension of finally having preached to the home flock for the first time,and to soak up their welcome, but also to know that I have probably sung my last Christmas Eve with them; my last Christmas Eve solo. Yet, to feel a peace in this new status after many months of angst over it.
And indeed to prepare the inlaws for the reality that we will not be with them next Christmas Eve, and to incur the blast of wrath for "taking them away just because of something you think you have to do." To be shopping with my mother who is still trying to buy me things I will not wear, in the time when there are only so many days outside of clerics. To hear her say she still cannot get that through her head, but to gently tell both women in my family that in fact over the next year, this change will come.
And finally ending the last vestige of my active legal practice- having now articulated when the last work will be for the two communities I represent, which happens to coincide with when my good friend and town manager is retiring, so we will "ride off into the sunset" at the same time, having had what will probably be the last business lunch before we each leave this community in different ways.
Between now and internship, and all of those classes, I continue working several times a month as a chaplain, and to this there is one more first and last. I have gone from the first day of CPE when the facility and all it entailed seemed impossible to fathom, to completing CPE. But now as I did this fall, again this week, I will be helping to train one of the new interns in a shadowing process and to recall where I have been in new ways.
While I am beginning to think about where God may place me for internship, I give thanks for the Spirit's showing that this pattern of firsts and lasts is not one we experience in isolation, but in prayer and contemplation, and in the community with all of those who are placed here in our midst as instruments to that purpose.

Change of Seasons

After a long spate of unseasonable warm weather farther into what I consider fall, it is now officially and definitively, autumnal. And as usual, we are overdue for taking in all of the porch things for the winter because "you just never know" it could still be nice another day. As much as I love fall, I am always a little wistful about the end of summer because the combination of "the school year" and being inside more, and not being able to pad around the property barefoot is an adjustment to the system.
This year, with the advent of my seminary education, the change of seasons has meant something even more pronounced. This morning, as I lumbered around the kitchen waiting for the coffee to kick in, my Beloved came in hoping that today was the day I would make pancakes. He is the perky morning person that I am not. ( I actually have a coffee mug that says "Attention morning people, be perky at your peril." )
I was actually not thinking of making pancakes, after another late night of high school football. ( The good news is that we have made the playoffs; the bad news is it is now cold, and last night rainy).
But here is the eager pancake person, and what was the last thing I did that reflected more than just trying to get through the balance of the week of school, teaching parish, marching band, and music lessons? When did my seasons change?
So, as I made the pancakes, I remembered that I used to make baked goods each week for our church fellowship- baking has a therapeutic quality for me. And I notice that my baking powder is now past its date, and there is a fine layer of dust on the stand mixer. And the bread machine? Lonely and untouched since August. I have shelves of cookbooks and always collected recipes to try, jamming them into the leaves of other cookbooks so that when you open the book, they flitter out like butterflies as they head to the floor. I used to be that person.
And I while I could blame the load of schoolwork, and family and parishas the exclusive reason for this change, the truth is it is more about transition.
As I continue to make the switch from prior vocation and focus to the present, there is more on the side of the scales that is "new and unknown" and less on the side of "same as it ever was." Recently Gannet Girl blogged about her health woes and the balancing act of returning to school.
For me the woe is that of redefining parts of self while desperately trying to hold on to others. I still want to be sitting on the porch in my barefeet... and yet, while this is beginning to sound like a pity party, in the midst of this, there are indescribably wonderful moments in the parish I am serving, and in school. I've been asked to do a session on the seminary radio program and I was told I presented a striking thesis in a paper on the Didache, which I view as instructive to the church as we address seekers in our midst. How to instruct others in the faith in new and engaged ways, while retaining core beliefs. Change of seasons.
Last Sunday I spent Sunday dinner in an 1800's farmhouse and learned not only all about the parish, and when the modern electrics and indoor plumbing was installed from lovely octogenarians, but about the struggles of the members and their commitment for decades to teaching the seminarians. Unless however, this parish is prepared to change seasons and invite the new, their time is limited. As I recently read in What's Theology Got To Do With It?, the failure to accept change denies God the ongoing nature of creation.
Something to ponder. God does not seek to keep the season unchanging, either outdoors, or in our lives. Stated another way, God is active in our lives bringing forth creative and redeeming work. So while I will continue to struggle with what of the old me can survive, the seasons are changing and I should give thanks for the new and challenging things I am blessed to explore.

Community

This has been a rollercoaster week at school and on the homefront.
On Monday, our football team, still undefeated, stomped the archrivals-GO BEARS!!
One more game to go to be undefeated!! Our town has become truly energized- we never have a winning season and have not beaten our rival in 27 years! Our town is galvanized into a community that suddenly remembers how great it is to all be here together. And now we have 6000 people at the football games. The secret to success is not that there are one or two standout players. The secret is that these guys are a team and play in concert with each other. It is remarkable to know that in a day and age where "it's all about me" is everywhere, these guys have learned that it really does take everyone.

On Monday night ( rained out Friday) we took our two kids and our spare teen to the game. I had to leave early to get the concession stand open ( we sell a lot of food when there are 6000 people at the game), and my 13 yr old gave me a hug, as I was leaving. Then our spare teen, D, spontaneously did the same thing. Why is this a big deal? Because she never shows affection ( Not sure she gets any at home). And since she is now at our house about half of the days of the week after school and for dinner because Mom is not around, I have mixed feelings about us being her "parent" figures.

On Tuesday, I went to school and stayed over that night because it was time for the annual attack on the Martin Luther statue located next to the Chapel. Here at LTSG,the juniors must wrest control of the statue from the middlers. In past years, as I understand it there have been water battles, people perched in trees waiting to " attack" , etc. Our class clearly outnumbers the middlers. We had a well orchestrated plan with people in camo on bikes, and waves of attack, BUT..

The middlers announced they did not want to play that way. They had a series of "quests" in mind, a la Monty Python. We were more than a little skeptical.
However, it turned out to be great fun, we met "pirates" and had to don eye patches and hats come up with a pirate song. When we did this, we got a number to remember.

Then we met the knights that say "idou" which if you have had Greek is more meaningful. We had to answer Greek questions and we got a number. Then the knights flipped the signs hanging around their necks to Hebrew and we had to answer Old Testament history questions. We got a number. It turns out the three numbers are the combination to a padlock on the statue which is wrapped in Saran wrap.
So we had to scale the statue and unlock it, and unwrap it.

Once "taken" the statue is to be dressed up. Each year the statue is dressed up to depict someone on campus. Usually a member of the faculty or the administration. BUT..
We chose to honor a person who has served our community for 40 years, and who has as crucial a role as anyone in the lives of seminarians. The head of Maintenance, Billy. I was in charge of our decorating crew and must say that it is a blessing that we all have boxes that recently held newly ordered albs, and computers, and thanks be to God for pizza boxes. With some paint, duct tape and miscellaneous items, we captured "Billy" as seen above.

I should mention that this event is in conjunction with the annual Luther Colloquy which took place Wednesday, and there were several of our Bishops from across the ELCA as well as pastors, alumni council, all " on the Ridge" for meetings and festivities. As a team, we were able to pull together our ideas, our resources and honor a great part of our community while maintaining the secrecy until the "reveal."

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, it was time for Friday football. Our last regular season game. We entered undefeated. But we had played THE really big game on Monday, and we have a few injuries, and the other team has the top two running backs in the Section. They played a really great game, a perfect game actually. So, we are no longer undefeated, but share the section crown with another team, and are headed into the playoffs. GO BEARS!
As our team leaves the field, the band kids, who have been trying really hard the whole game to keep the spirit up, stand up and cheer their team- leading the adults.

Normally as we are riding home on the bus, our band kids are wired for sound and cheering with the windows open as we enter town. They were a little down as we are getting off of the highway. One of the kids on the bus says, "But remember last year we would have killed to be 9-1. We are having a great year!" And then we see what lies ahead of us. And why I love our town which even though we are 14,000 still feels like the small town.

All of the firetrucks, with lights flashing, and horns blaring, and the police are there to escort their "winners" into town anyway. And there are people holding "You're in Bear Country" signs and the kids are cheering in the parking lot as our football team, cheerleaders and band buses pull in.

And isn't this what any community is about? Celebrating the good, and building each other up, and recognizing the dedication of others? And amidst all of the really big things we think we are about, and people who get on our nerves or let us down, remembering that a little hoot and holler can go along way. I think we all crave these connections and pray our kids remember these lessons throughout their lives.

Random Thoughts

Some random thoughts about the week:
1. ALWAYS fully read the questions on the quiz so you do not get a comment like "why would anyone care about what you wrote on this paper?" OUCH
2.Sometimes the view from the seminary and the view from the parish are REALLY different. There is a restructuring of the teaching parish program which no longer requires seminarians to be in parish every week. This was not fully internalized by the pastors, nor fully embraced once implemented. You could bear the brunt of the frustration about the change.
3. Your children will still need you : to tutor them in Spanish the night before your test that you need to study for.

But...
1. You will do something in your parish that makes someone smile, or think in a new way.
2. Your friends will tell you about their own mishaps and you will see that even when you feel like you are falling, you are still here and intact.
3. You will remember why you are here, and for me this meant that twice this week someone reached out in need and you were the one who could listen, commiserate and pray with them. For me this came in the form of two friends dealing with family members who committed suicide. One knew of my own family dealing with this. The other, says she has no idea what drew her to talk to me except we chaperone together on a band bus. And so it is, people with huge problems to face, just keep seeking me out.

A Change in the Scenery

One of the courses for the fall is "Teaching Parish with Integrative Seminar" which is a heavy phrase for being assigned to work in a parish and getting together to talk about ministry. We were asked to fill out a form which was just basic information ( name, address, age, contact info) and prior employment and involvement within the Lutheran church ( if you are ELCA). We were asked to identify any other considerations that we felt might be important.
My home parish has been the Church of the Really Big Deal which has two pastors, a music director, a full time office administrator, 15 members of the Church Council, two services, Sunday school classes for all ages including 3 each Sunday for adults, five choirs, two bell choirs, Wed programming for youth, two weekly Bible studies, and we are the home for multiple support groups extending outside our parish. We own real estate in town and outside of town where we have a place in the woods that has pavilion with a full kitchen and full bath facilities. We have about 335 active members.
My candidacy committee indicated that since this was my reality for the last 17 years, it would be beneficial for me to experience a smaller church setting. So I indicated this on my form.
Yesterday's class was kind of like a blind date. You are waiting to meet the person who has been matched to you. I do not know how sophisticated the process is, but as I watched other people leaving with their matches, and especially since I knew some of these pastors, I could see it looked like a good fit.
Finally, it was my turn, and I have been matched with a vibrant pastor who I have been told is a "hoot." And my parish worships about 80 a Sunday at one service. I have checked out to see that they have a website, and a long history dating back to 1800. They are a rural location and it looks like, as with many churches, there was a heyday, but a few years ago, the rolls were adjusted like many parishes have done.
It looks like after that there was a downturn and now growth is beginning anew.
I am sure that there are stories to be learned. While it might be easy to get out my rose-colored glasses and begin to envision quaint people and surroundings, I suspect that I will find, just as in my own congregation, there are core workers, others who just show up, hopes and dreams, petty slights and disaappointments. In fact one thing that has amazed me in my home parish is when I would hear about some disagreement between members where the end result was that someone continued to come to church mad for years ( as opposed to going somewhere else).
So this Sunday I will be introduced and "installed." And next Sunday I will robe up and roll up my sleeves to work and learn.
I hope I remember to talk less and listen more, and to be slow to reach conclusions, and to see Christ in each person I meet.
Those of you in smaller parishes, if there is any pearl of wisdom you can share I would be grateful.

The cloud of witnesses

This week is the "official" start of classes, although for us summer Greek-ers, it feels like we have been around forever. All jesting aside, today was THE convocation to open classes. Now I know that some people find all of the hoopla a little tedious or excessive. To the contrary, I actually found this very moving. I always liked academia in the "traditional" symbolic processional milestone moments. And then of course we are in the chapel, known as the Church of the Abiding Presence. I went there to pray after the Greek final and in the solitude give thanks I was still alive. The name suits a place I find sustaining. As an aside, I love to sit in the empty church without all the lights alone with God and to envision the spirit not only of God's abiding presence, but as a history buff, to envision the saints who have gone before in this place, as an ode to the eternal and sustaining message of God's glory, and grace.
The stained glass windows are like none I have ever seen. They are actually not the usual leaded glass variety, but rather are an opaque window with engraved images of the historic figures of the Reformation, the Church and our fine seminary. I wish I had a good picture. In the Church of the Abiding Presence, the chapel of the Lutheran Theological Seminary at Gettysburg, the stained glass windows depict scenes from the Bible and Church history. The window closest to the pulpit depicts the crucifixion of Jesus. Just below the foot of the cross, and a little to the right, the first Christian martyr, St. Stephen, kneels in adoration and suffering. A little further down, and to Stephen's left, St. Francis is shown receiving in his own body the marks of the crucifixion. This window is symbolic of Lutheran recognition of St. Francis of Assisi as one who truly surrendered himself in humble submission to the shame of the cross.
Not only are we there to open the class year for our time here, we are part of an unending march of saints/sinners who, answering God's call have come here to this place and time. And while, after summer Greek I know much about some of my classmates that could fall into the TMI category, I was also glad to see people I can now begin to say I know, when I came back to campus after the brief hiatus following Greek. We are community here, in all the good and less than outstanding that any moment can encompass.
But we are also community in the larger sense within the holy catholic and apostolic church. And we are but a current manifestation of a ragtag band that goes back a really long time.
So as I watch the current and future leaders of the church amidst the backdrop of the past, and after a couple of weeks of conjuring up the core of what begins to give me new and different glimpses into belief, I cannot help but feel that the saints in the windows are a part of that great cloud of witnesses.
And during worship this week we were asked to take a moment and contemplate our family and friends who helped us and continue to help us be here; the pastors and other leaders who encouraged and taught, and all of those people throughout time who have influenced our thought and faith.
And there again was not only the memory of a beloved pastor now deceased, who I wish was here with me now, but that cloud of witnesses again, whose life and witness, successes and struggles, joys and sorrows in the faith have convened here with us now. Our motto here is " At the Crossroads of History and Hope." Not merely a trite expression as I contemplate where the Spirit may lead me during my time as a part of the community here.
And while I am terrified at the notion of preaching, wonder what I will mess up, I end this reflection with wisdom shared today by our Dean of a statement she learned in her internship, to pray that God bless what has been done for the good of God's kingdom, and forgiveness for the rest. She added that on any given day she is never really sure which may be which in God's eyes. I suspect the cloud of witnesses would concur.
Once again, I am reminded that I must surrender my notion of being in control, allow God to fill and mold me, as many have before me. And Lord, please forgive the rest, Amen.

It's Too Hot to Post

We have had days on end on the 90's. It is just too hot to put much together to say today. Next Friday I start Summer Greek at Gettysburg. I thought I would spend the next week or so talking about what got me to this point in my life's journey and my hopes and fears. Not because I expect to say anything that will amaze a room full of people, but more to kind of condense where I am and where I may be headed-inspired somewhat by Here I Stand and his excellent internship countdown. I hope and pray that someday I will be able to have such great shaping experiences and the ability to share them in such an affirming way.

Where to Begin-We Walk by Faith

Last fall I finally stopped saying "no" to God's call to ministry. Thus I hurled myself into the great unknown concept of "retiring" from my first career as a lawyer and walking by faith. I now read the story of the disciples casting down their nets in a whole new light. I always wondered what their families must have thought when they announced they were leaving behind good jobs to follow Jesus. This is in fact what has happened. I have been a litigator for 19 years. Fellow lawyers have expressed envy that I can "just walk away." But the process of closing an office, attending that last hearing, telling clients of my decision has not been without watershed moments. I can only imagine what is like for the person for whom a job ending is not a choice but an imposition. And I had to end these things before I knew whether I would be given positive entrance by my church to begin study. Thank the Lord they did. And no matter how strong your faith, to tell someone who has viewed you as one person that you are about to become something very different has not been without great trepidation. I am blessed with family support, and a good life. Now I pray I can transition into school for the first time since 1988. Excitement, fear, and everything in between. We walk by faith.