On my recent retreat, one of the prayers we considered was this one. Below are some of the things that came to mind as I thought about it, and I keep thinking about it, for myself. And I wonder how it sounds to others. I want to see the beauty of it, and yet it gets to the heart of our struggle with trusting God.
Take Lord, receive my liberty, my memory, my understanding, my entire will.
You gave me all these gifts.
To you, I return them. Dispose of them entirely according to your will.
Give me only your love and grace. This is all I ask.
Can I really in each day and all moments surrender in this way?
All my decisions
All my choices
All of what I see as opporunties before me?
All of my options
All of my preferences
All of my desires?
All of my preconceived notions
All of my fondnesses
All of my aversions
All of my fears that protect me?
All of my joys
All of the moments I want to hold onto forever
All of my comforts
All of my crutches?
All of the things I consider dear
All of the things I don't want to change
All of the people I rely on
All of my happiness?
All of what seems right or fair to me
All of my hopes
All of my resources
All of my biases?
It is not mine
It is yours- to give, to use, to remove, to transform
Can I really believe in your love and grace that is your beginning and ending, your Word and cross, in this way?
I think I will have to pray this prayer all of my days to even remotely get close. I am learning.
Good thing your love and grace are bigger.