Hi-Tech Prayer

I have been mulling around a meaningful way to help my friend over these last few days. I just finished reading Final Gifts and one thing I learned is that hearing is the last sense to fade for most people. I found that fascinating. Then I got a thank you note for the cross from my friend with cancer. She asked me to tell her again about the cross- could I call and leave it on her answering machine? I notice in the note that her handwriting has begun to change and that some common words are misspelled. How can I connect with her when she is not doing well? How I connect when she is not up for visitors? How can she connect with me when it is convenient for her, but I am in class? There is email, but, what else could I do? "Leave me a message."
I could record a message. Better yet, I could record a message not just from me, but from God. I could record prayers, and scripture. Maybe some music. She could listen when she wants, where she wants, as much as she wants. She can play it back over and over if she feels she did not catch what was said, and she will not be embarrassed.
I just got some new recording software to record LC#1's audition CD for a summer music program. I could test it out.
So I pulled up the ELCA Daily Prayer resources on the web, and the new Renewing Worship resource for readings and prayers for the sick, for healing and wholeness. Luckily my laptop has a built in microphone. I recorded the daily prayer track. It took a couple readthroughs to get used to pacing and using the "stop" versus "pause" features. Then I looked through the readings and prayers, and decided that I could alternate a reading and a prayer, so that it would end with a final prayer.
When I was done I saved the files into WAV format in Windows Media Player, made them into a playlist, then burned them onto a CD. And lucky for me, the programs can guide even an idiot like me through.
I tested it on a different computer before I put the CD and a note together with a printed version and delivered it. I called to say I would be dropping it by, and I know my friend is in therapy this morning so there will be something for later. A way to greet her after a perhaps difficult session. She could listen as she is riding in the car. I can make new prayers for when there may be choices to make- hard choices.
Maybe the files could be used for others who are ill, convalescing or suffering.
Maybe I could record separate prayers and readings for their caregivers.
Maybe we could use this format to occasionally send audio greetings to our shutins in addition to just cards.
Well, my mind is spinning at the possibilities.
On the chance that I am not just catching up to what others already know, I used free audio recording software from Audacity which is available at http://audacity.sourceforge.net/download. And since it's free, might as well play with it. It can also save in MP3 format as well. I am not sure how to post a link to it.

If anyone else has experience with this and has ideas to share, please let me know.
For everyone who has been in touch with prayers, on behalf of my friend and her family I give thanks.

“Brain”

Last July I blogged about my friend with cancer. We had both been undergoing tests at the same time. My news was good and hers was not. I have since blogged about her remarkable response to treatment, but that the cancer was also finding new ways to succeed." The liver is good, the breast is better, but they were concerned it was looking for bone." On Christmas Eve, that was where we were in all of this. My friend was still chipper, and looked great and was still going out regularly with friends for dinner once a month, still having that glass or two of wine with old friends, and squeezing everything out of life. And with the exception of myself and the pastoral staff, no one at church knew she even had cancer. A way of maintaining dignity, a part of her care, the care and feeding of the idea she was still active, and pretty and most definitely not the subject of pity.

My friend has always been one of those people who is a "force of one." Headstrong, opinionated, fiercely loyal. Always perfectly frosted hair, high cheekbones and the same blue eyeliner, a timeless look. A great wit, and the friend who will tell you there is food between your teeth, or toilet paper on your shoe.

Yesterday, she shuffled into church, with no next to no makeup, and no eyebrows, a face full like the moon, and she had a walker. She sat in the "handicapped pew" at the front of the church. She sat looking straight ahead as her husband got things situated. I made my way over to her during the sharing of the peace. She gripped my hand tightly and her eyes welled up- and all she said was "brain." What a watershed moment to walk into the church and feel so humbled. What an adjustment and acknowledgment that things are not able to be kept secret now, probably not so indefinite now.

After the service, I returned to where she was, followed by a long line of parishioners. She shared that they had been out to their favorite local pub and restaurant with friends on New Years Eve when she had a seizure. "They had to take me out" – and then she got a momentary sparkle in her eye-"Not sure they'll let me go there again." She has been having more seizures, as they try to do what they can. "I am not giving up, I am still great!" "But I am ready to face this." " God is GOOD!" And then the tears return. Hers and mine.

She tries to laugh as she says she is pestering the doctor to let her have a glass of wine. And I know she is worried. Her son is finally prepared to marry his girlfriend. Will she see it? Her husband will be lost without her. How can she know he will be OK? These are things she will need from her family to make the transitions ahead.

When I first began this journey, I thought of Sacrament of the Present Moment, and her question "Will I still love God when life is not good?" As she and I have traveled these many months, I shared Praying with Cancer with her. The day she mailed me a copy of one of the pages about how the suffering of cancer was a gift because it brought her closer to God, I learned a lesson in fierce faith. Now I have been reading Final Gifts to know how to share in what lies ahead.

I normally wear a silver rope cross with a rope-like chain that wraps around the cross pieces of the cross. Feeling like I needed to do something, and without thinking I took it off and pressed it into her hand, "Bind yourself to Christ, feel God's loving embrace. When you are feeling low, know that I am with you my friend, but better than that, you are God's- he will never let go." More hugging and expressions of friendship, and while I pray that somehow she can be healed, I remember my promise to sing at her service of Resurrection Victory. And I pray God will give me the strength to keep that promise. Until then I pray that God will use in all of us the gifts to let my friend not feel pitied or like a project, but like there is still that last bit of life to be squeezed out, savored and consumed, in her own unique way. God is Good.

“George”

It was kind of a random blah day and I was avoiding writing a paper for my class, and trying to get something ready for dinner when I realized I needed carrots. Not generally the most exciting life, I know. So I grump my way to the car, because it just is no fun to be down to the last ingredients and realize you are stuck. I usually shop at this Grocery Store by the Cows, at the edge of our town, on the edge of farmland, still sells their own dairy's milk, does not carry the eight million "got-to-have it" products that the mega-store does, and where all of the baggers still wear a tie. A place where when you look confused someone actually asks if you need help and means it, and the place where I now know that "George" works.

So I am in the checkout line and I see that my bagger is an older gentleman who is wearing a wide and vivid Stars and Stripes design tie, with… matching suspenders. I compliment him on his tie, and he smiles, and proudly pulls up his pant leg to show me his "USA" socks. About now is when my husband hates being at the store with me, but lucky for him, and for me, he is not here to drag me away from spontaneous banter. There is no one behind me and I ask "George" if he has a special tie for Valentine's Day also, making random conversation as my order is being totaled.

He tells me he does not, but that maybe someone will get him one, because it is his wedding anniversary, adding that he has been married for six years. Instinctively, he must say that he was married to his first wife for 40 years before she died. He remarried a mere nine months later- married his wife's friend, a widow in town. They had known each other since they were kids. They had all been friends, and their kids had played together. They had undoubtedly been attending all of the milestone moments of life, weddings, graduations and funerals for nigh on 60 plus years. They had always been friends. Getting married after all of this time, probably felt kind of like putting on a comfy old sweater. He says it was his idea to get married on Valentine's Day so he could not forget their anniversary, he says with a wink. All of their kids, who are friends and now suddenly step-siblings have had a good laugh over their changed status, and it sounds like everyone is overjoyed that the two later-in-life lovebirds hooked up.

He regaled me with the tale that before they married, the young pastor told them they would need to take pre-marital sessions. He chortled, "..And I told him, that was fine, that between me and her we had been married for 76 years and we'd be happy to answer any questions he might have about being married." Mental note to self, seriously consider asking someone like George and the Lovely Bride to take a class. Call it chatting to prepare for the sermon, or just pure interest. But apparently the pastor has taken some ribbing about this well, and so has George. It has become a part of the folklore of their congregation I gather.

Since I was still listening, he got a smile and told me he was retired a couple years now, and that when he left his job, his (current) wife asked him what he was going to do with his time. With a sparkle in his eye, he jovially announced," I'm going clowning!" and, he added, giddily, she said, "Let's go!" They now work as Make-a-Wish clowns all around the area, when they are not with the grandkids of their collective families. I think if I can find a great Valentine's tie, I might just have to give it to George to wear when he and the missus go clowning, and I hope someday I am blessed to have a parish with at least one "George."

 

Friday Five- Las Mananitas

From Mother Laura over at RevGals, a birthday-inspired Friday Five.

1. When is your birthday? Does anyone else (famous and/or in your own life) share it?

October 2nd. Sting,Groucho Marx, Gandhi and me. Hmmm..see them all Here. Kelly Ripa is there too. I am a few years older than her. I don't know why I am not on this list. I went out to Youtube to find a Sting video and found this version of Panis Angelicus with Pavarotti. Who knew?



2. Do you prefer a big party or an intimate celebration for the chosen few?

Somewhere in-between. Girls just wanna have fun.
3. Describe your most memorable birthday(s)--good, bad, or both.

My husband ( before he was my husband, when we were law school students) to me to a very lovely restaurant way out of our price range for dinner and a wonderful jazz show. The music, food and company were wonderful, seeing his guess about which silverware was for what, also entertaining. Never really had a bad birthday. I am born the day after my Dad, so there were a lot of combined birthday things growing up. Actually, there was one bad birthday. It was when my husband was commuting back and forth to Philadelphia ( about 4 hours a day) and it was just taking its toll. He had forgotten to get me anything for Christmas until it was too late to ship, followed by missing Valentine's Day, and then he came home from work on my birthday, in a bad mood, clunked around all evening, and went to bed. No "Happy Birthday", no card.. nothing. I was wondering if I had done something wrong- He had just totally forgotten. Shortly after that he changed jobs, ditched the four hour commute and life got much better for everyone. Was trying to forget that one.

4. What is your favorite cake and ice cream? (Bonus points if you share the cake recipe). Or would you rather have a different treat altogether?

Chocolate cake with raspberrry filling, or carrot cake. Not sure which, but I'll have to get out a recipe.

5. Surprise parties: love 'em or hate 'em?

I think it would depend. Never had one. I once had a co-worker who planned a getaway for him and his wife to Aruba for her birthday. He made all of the arrangements and packed her bag. Woke her up at 4 am to go to the airport and "said it's surprise." Turns out he didn't really pack what she needed, and there was the whole, he already packed her makeup so she traveled "scary" .. not sure I want that surprise.

Bonus: Describe your ideal birthday--the sky's the limit.
We would all hop on a plane and fly to London to take in the museums, and a show and maybe a pub crawl.

“You Have Now Crossed Over into ..The Spirit Zone”

In the lesson from Matthew for this Sunday, we learn that John the Baptist tries to prevent Jesus from being baptized, even though Matthew makes it clear that Jesus is there at the River Jordan for just that very reason. I can almost imagine John, looking at his cousin and saying, "You want me to do WHAT?" Maybe there was even a back and forth, after all this is not how it is supposed to be. "I am inferior; you are the Messiah, and this is not how this works. I won't do it."

As Jerry Goebel has stated, one possible translation of what Jesus says next about fulfilling righteousness could sound like this," Suspend your rational thinking for the moment, God is doing something deeper here than you could possibly understand."

For a moment, I remembered back to my days as a child when the black and white screen began to playing the haunting music, and a man's voice begins," You unlock this door with the key of imagination, a dimension of sound, sight and mind…a land of shadow and substance, of things and ideas, you have just crossed into..The Twilight Zone."

With my apologies to Rod Serling, I would like to suggest that instead in Matthew, we are entering the "Spirit Zone." God's demonstration of radical love which challenges what "should be." Long before this day at the River Jordan, Jesus has already challenged and been challenged. Born to a teenage mother, who was not married when she became pregnant, born "on the road" in a "temporary shelter." Having to flee violence on the streets, being raised by first time parents. Having learned a trade, his hands were callused. A mighty God; a simple man.

His baptism at the age of 30 consecrated his ministry and the paradox between this ministry and who the long-awaited one "should" be was just unfolding. It was the tradition for a rabbi to be baptized at the age of 30 to solemnize the beginning of ministry. This should occur at the temple, a work of ritual and purification. Not just anyone could be there, only the clean, the holy, and the righteous. A triumphal beginning all according to a well-planned, orchestrated proper ritual. This day at the Jordan was not how it was supposed to be.

In the river, where men AND women came, to be baptized, to repent as sinners, those not worthy to enter the temple, Jews and Gentiles. Where maybe laundry was washed; animals may have languished. Where the coarse and the common, the inferiors, came to hear the prophet. He just showed up, without pomp, to fulfill the ritual in a new dimension.

He didn't need to repent, to be adopted, to receive the Spirit. But we did- not just some of us, but all of us. And this time the dove, did not just symbolize a cleansing of the flood, that was good for a time, but a cleansing for all time to come. Not just for Jews, but for all. Not just for those who looked like they had it all together, but for those who definitely did not. Not coming in power and majesty, but humility. And so Jesus' ministry began, and the Spirit Zone was alive.

So what does it mean for us here and now, to live in the Spirit Zone? What does it mean to do what God requires? Luther, in his sermon for this day, indicts us, stating, "Jesus does something here that is not required of him, whereas we do nothing that is not required of us." Harsh words. But, maybe for starters, this Word means, as Brian Stoeffregen has suggested, that as Jesus made himself available to us, we should make ourselves available to others. We should take the time to listen for our purpose, and then walk in this path. Maybe this will unfold and change over time.

I think of my own experience, being told that ministry by women was just not how things were done. For many years, I believed it. I believed that the rules were well established and I should be faithful to them. Did I waste my time as a lawyer? By no means. But there came a time when the message changed, or else I heard it more clearly. As one writer put it, the beginning three words of this text, "Then Jesus arrived.." could be translated "Then I got it."

So what does it mean to live in the Spirit Zone? I think it means doing more than just "meeting needs", instead giving of ourselves, becoming more humble, more determined. It means more than institutional survival, more than being efficient. It is struggling with good and godly things, discerning where God is leading us now. It is a lifetime of discerning, not a singular moment. And just as Jesus took risks, so too there is a risk for us. It means unlocking the door with the key of imagination. After acknowledging the Spirit within, we may hear God asking us, just as He asked Jesus, to step into some new form of ministry. Maybe even one that popular voices say, " isn't how we do things." Then what?

Then hopefully, in prayer and in community we strive to go there. And hopefully we do not let ourselves get sidetracked over the "correct way" to do it. And just as Jesus was not baptized in solitude, but in community to undertake exciting ministry, so we to must work in community. And like John, let us work set aside our needs about how "it is supposed to be" and let it be according to God's will. Our needs tell us, we can't teach, or reach out to the immigrant, or witness to the Gospel. But the Spirit says, "Yes, you can." And we are never alone in .. The Spirit Zone.

 

A Heart in Rhythm with God

A heart starts beating faster, then racing. Now I notice it, and then it becomes hard not to focus on it. The more I try to think about it slowing down, the less likely that becomes. And the fear sets in. I have inherited a family trait of an irregular heartrate. It is not a panic attack issue, although, unchecked it leads to panic. Now I have a medication to regulate it. But when things get out of sync, it is fearful.
Fear can be a major force in our lives, and in our hearts, even those who think they have it pretty good. Worries about financial security; what our kids will do when they grow up; concerns over aches and pains as we get a little older; issues of aging parents, can dominate our lives. Then there are the mega-fears- Are we entering a recession? How long will the war in Iraq last? What about the violence and conflict that permeates so many corners of the globe? What will global warming mean for us?
At the womens’ shelter, fears are on a much more personal level. Will I get a job interview? Will my husband go to the anger management classes he promises to start, that could save our marriage? Will I stay sober today? Do I have enough money to buy the shower gel I like that makes me feel human even though I am on a floor with 70 other people and all of their stuff? Will I see my daughter this weekend or will they cancel again? Will I leave this place for a better life? Will I leave because I can’t deal?
Fears of all varieties can dominate our thoughts. I recently spoke with a woman who is a counselor to others, whose own life is one step away from falling apart. Her husband has left the ministry, and is engaged in drug and alcohol abuse. He has abandoned God. Her teenage daughter is engaging in risky social behaviors and the mom is trying to teach a different path, without any support from her husband. They are in financial ruin and her job is not secure. Yet she is determined to see her commitments through, but some days she thinks she is going to disintegrate.
No matter where our lives fall on the scale on any given day, God is here to give us peace and grace sufficient. It sounds so simple, but in my own life, I, like Peter, know there are the times when I look down, look away from Jesus, and the next thing I know, I am floundering and flailing in the water. Something so simple as trusting in God, seems hard when I think I know better, or God seems to take too long, and I just cannot believe that all will be provided. When we hear that our Lord brings us peace, a peace the world cannot give, do we ever act in a way that says “no thank you?” Do I find myself making my fears or insecurities my god? Do we, intentionally or unintentionally, act in a way that prefers that the problems of our lives not be fixed? I once had a client who was an alcoholic. He finally got help, and it was then that the marriage fell apart. After years of building an identity as the victim, his wife really didn’t want to have to reinvent the dynamic with a sober and engaged partner.
I had been contemplating this for awhile, both in the lives of the women I work with and my own life, and then I read the excellent article “What Your Heart Clings To” in Lutheran Woman Today, written by E. Louise Williams. In speaking about the famous Luther saying “What your heart clings to is really your god,” She explores the many things that become gods or idols in our lives. As much as material things can assume this role, so too can hanging on to the past, agonizing over the future, and preoccupation with failure.
The counselor and I talked about this one day while making our rounds on the floor, and she openly blurted out, with tears in her eyes, “I have already built those idols, boy, don’t I know it.” She detailed her struggles with letting go of what she thought was control, to get out of the way of God. It is hard to put down those idols. Some of the women here come in hauling massive piles of stuff, most of which they do not need, but they are so used to carrying them around. We all are used to carrying our stuff, our idols, around. And when the first little thing goes wrong, we reach for them. But if, instead, we can say “yes” to God’s outstretched hand, to the peace and grace we are offered.. If we can do this, as Williams concludes, we can “notice again that our heartbeat is in the same rhythm as God’s.”

Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans

Lately we have been admonishing Buddy for incessant and compulsive licking, which only seems to happen when we are trying to go to sleep. In retaliation for this and for having to stay at doggy camp while we went to Charleston, Buddy has hijacked the blog, and he has issues. One of his friends sent him this list of Ten Peeves Dogs Have About Humans.

'1'
Blaming your farts on me.....
not funny... not funny at all !!!

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'2'
Yelling at me for barking.
I'M A #$&*' DOG

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'3'
Taking me for a walk, then
not letting me check stuff out.
Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

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'4'
Any trick that involves balancing
food on my nose. Stop it!

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'5'
Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons.
Now you know why we chew your stuff
up when you're not home.

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'6'
The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw.
You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what
a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

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'7'
Taking me to the vet for "the big snip",
then acting surprised when I freak
out every time we go back!

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'8'
Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests.
Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

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'9'
Dog sweaters. Hello ???
Haven't you noticed the fur?
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'10'
How you act disgusted when I lick myself.
Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.

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Now lay off me on some of these things.
We both know who's boss here!
You don't see me picking up your poop do you?



EVERY DOG HAS HIS DAY.
A DOG ALWAYS OFFERS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
CATS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT!