Thursday, August 16, 2007

After the Fire

So I am here at LTSG for Summer Greek and I must be ready to go because the hour drive ( which will be my commute when Greek is done) flew by. I think I unpacked all of my things in record time. I know this is hard for me to be away from my beloved and the Lutheran Chicks. They go away for camp and trips and I stay put. Same separation. Same time frame as when they go away. But it is me who is not there. So I have a picture of the family on my desk. A candle from my kitchen, the throw pillow from LC #1's bed. Something LC#2 made for me. The cross from my sunroom. Well, you get the idea. I have been out for a great walk from Seminary Ridge out Confederate Avenue past the Eisenhower Farm. The setting sun and the conversing birds.
I have made my dinner, gone over what I am supposed to know for the first day quiz. Listened to some great music. Stopped over to visit friends who just got in from Alaska earlier this week- the really big move.
And it feels right to be here. This spring and summer felt discordant because I was walking between two different worlds- the career that is ending, and the process of doing that, and the new journey of which will take directions that can only be imagined..
As I have allowed God to mold me I have seen a transformative process at work that has been both jarring and amazing. Through this I am reminded that the Holy Spirit at work is not exclusively a "warm fuzzy". The fire of the Spirit can be discomforting, can be a catalyst. Can be confrontational- putting before us what we need to be about or need to face. Several of you, have been blogging about Luke and Jeremiah and the lessons for 12th Sunday after Pentecost. Unlikely Conversation and Heart of a Pastor come to mind.
From where I am sitting today, it is not just about "the" church but about each of us seeing our part in it. For me, that part means getting totally out of three comfort zones.
One, I had pretty much figured out the lay of the land in practicing law. Talking in Court-easy. Preaching- not so sure.
Two, I am out of my home turf. After moving my whole life, I stayed put ( and liked it) - one place since 1989. Totally new landscapes to navigate.
Finally, I have come back to academics for the first time in 19 years. More than a little daunting to me.
And at a point where feeling upended is more than a little change. I have said before that I feel like the rock that got tumbled in the "Gemfinder" and came out a semi-precious stone, but forged in the foundry may be more like it. And just like the blacksmith keeps putting the iron back in the heat to work a little more, so I suspect it will be.
So the analogy of what grows after the fire is feeling pretty apt to me. But for once I am not going to engage in the controlling nature of containing the fire. Because I think this is the time to see what the Spirit will plant next.
And now I just really want to get started.

4 comments:

Coach said...

L&G,

It's nice to read someone else's comments about the good & bad feelings about starting this 2nd life.

It's also nice to read it from someone else at Gettysburg.

LawAndGospel said...

Glad to see you stop by. I believe that it is important to acknnowledge all aspects of this journey in order to be honest. Maybe that is easier to do at 43. ;)

David said...

Take it from another who has left one career in the dust for another as a worker in Christ's church; this will be a great time for you both and a time of learning about just who and whose you are.

Diane said...

great to hear from you... I loved Greek, but didn't do the intensive variety... having memories of packing up and living in a dorm, but I didn't leave husband and kids behind. (was single then) just a cat...

looking forward to reading more...